Good Old Memories

"Nostalgia when you hold me..." A friend recently posted and shared that video song of the old days. Jean Jacques Goldman.I must admit it suddenly took me back in times. It is always good to have friends. Thank you for sharing the old goodie. When I listen to it, it is so special. It reminds me of the good days. Nothing to say just thank you. Thank you also to some of my friends that I unfortunately lost along the way. The way of life. I miss them. I miss my two friends who left this world so early. I wish we could have spent the good old days we had together again...Dear friends rest in peace. I miss you. Thank you dear one for sharing that old masterpiece. That forever one of the best songs of JJ Goldman that I like. Whenever I listen to it, my heart is moved. My heart melt A song of Love. A song of friendship... He is such a talent. And what about you, dear readers. Who took your heart forever? When you look back in time...who took your heart? Or should I say who stole it? (smile) Do you also have special friends. I do not have many. Maybe three only now. I have never been into many friends anyway. It is not me. I am mostly on my own and that's ok. Be alone is not bad sometimes. I am only looking for a forever best friend (smile) This is the song Jean Jacques Goldman "Pas Toi"

*** *** *** *** Look people, life is really a mystery...We do not know the tomorrow. Today you are close to someone and tomorrow for no reasons you are like ennemies. But still life worth living. I miss my friend Elsa. I miss you Elsa...It is sad we have to go in our separate ways. You were my best friend. my confident. We could speak on the phone for hours. We could be sitting outside eating our snacks and laugh for hours together. You saw my good and bad side. My best and my weakest moments. The day, the afternoon, the night you were my best friend. I remember when I first started learning how to cook, you were there lol! I put too much salt but you still ate my food and you said "Hummm! Yummy!!" We cut magazines to take fashion pictures and saved them in our portfolio or copybooks. The first time I tried a body scrub on my skin it was you. We did it together Lol! the bath beads. Ha! My friend, my dear friend. Climbing the trees and singing there in the air. The Good Life seemed to never end. We went from being little girls to young women. We did trips together and I was so excited. We argued sometimes but we always passed on these bad moments. We fought but we never kept anger (I mean....that's what I thought...) and we were back again in our stupid and fun life together. What went wrong dear friend? What really happened? I don't know when exactly I lost our strong friendship. Until today I do not have a friend like you. It is sad we do not communicate anymore. It is sad we are now strangers today. Forgiveness is so important. True forgiveness...Nobody is Perfect. It is sad we do not talk anymore. I miss that wonderful and amazing friendship. I tried to reach at you again...but it is just not working anymore. So..I gave up...We stay respectful to each other and that's it. In my previous post, You remember dear readers, I was talking about how we (the kids) liked to play under the sun, the palm trees in my hometown...yes that's what we did. We (friend and I) grew up together and we stopped being friends at the age of 36. No I didn't want it to hapen but it just happened. how sad is it! I always remember how everything fell apart. Something I didn't understand...and I still don't. How sad is it! We only live once people. Why keeping misunderstandings and anger? Why holding on the past when the future can be bright? Why being Not real with people who trust you? *** *** *** Talking about my friend Elsa, I introduced her to one of my favorite singers when we were young. Her name was Elsa Lunghini. She is one my favorite French artists and this song was one of my best. Elsa "A La Meme Heure dans Deux Ans" (In my mind when listening to this song it was like we will do the same fun things together every summer. That we should keep our friendship special) She was that kind of friend who knew how I felt and what I thought without me talking. And she would always have a word to make me burst in laugh when I was mad at her or at something. When I was in a bad mood she knew how to make me smile. One day we argued and we were angry. I wrote some sweet words to say sorry and I slided it on my little puppy's collar and my puppy walked to her and she saw it. She picked it up an opened the paper and she laughed. Yep! That's me! (wink) I do things like that sometimes...

back to my best friend: I remember with my friend Elsa that we were writing tons of letters to each other. (emails did not exist in the time) We would be writing our lives, the gossip in our town, about love and funny stories on our pieces of paper and we sent the letters through postmail. A flower with my name on it was my favorite signature on the letters. (laugh) I was always excited to open her letters when I received them and read again and again. I kept them safe in a box where I got all my mails. (I don't like emails, I feel like it is empty of emotion...Something is different when someone writes you on a piece of paper or on a postal card. This writting is so beautiful. You can read that person's mind and feeling through his writings. There is life in these old mails we used to write a lot) When I was bored at school, I would have one of her letters with me. and read it again under the trees or in my classrom during the break. Her stories were so funny and interesting. And that was my little world. I could feel her spirit next to me. She was like with me eventhough she was living in another town. I loved it so much. Back home it was the same thing: I was Smiling and laughing while reading her stories, love story and her life then I would rush to the phone and call her. You know it was not portable phones back in the days. So you stayed up or you sat while you talk on the phone. Me I was on my feet for hours seriously and laughing. I didn't care. I was just happy to talk to my best friend. I didn't have boyfriends (My parents were not ok that a high school girl like me would think about going out with guys) so my books and her stories were my window to escape. Sometimes my Mom would come and say: " can you hang up the phone now Laetitia? People maybe are calling too." We would be shopping together, try perfumes together...She would help me how to dress and later on, as we became young ladies, if I was going on a date she would help me pick the right clothes, the make up and the hairstyle. She was a special friend. Watch movies together but it is no longer the same today. Distance. Just distance when we speak today. There is a wall a big wall between us that she has built. And I am a mother now...So life is different. I simply gave up. Sigh! She was my best friend. Today...we are like two strangers. I miss our best years of friendship. There is no possibility to go back in times we are so old now. And things Have changed a lot. What was done is done. That is why I am no longer looking to have friends. I have only have three maybe but one of them is the closest I have left and that's enough for me. I sometimes look people at the restaurants, laughing together like if they were the best friends ever. I like it a lot but to me I do not have it anymore and I do not want to be deceived again. I am Ok like that. I sometimes see the three friends I have but really one is the closest to me. Dear readers have you ever had a friend that you liked so much and you do not talk together anymore? You look to each other like two perfect strangers. This is another song that I like. I used to listen to it a lot. I like the lyrics Elsa (with Laurent Voulzy) "Jamais Nous" That should Never be Us (It will never be us. The lies that eat you up. the memories that hurt. The hatred. It will never be us, fake smiles...hypocrisy. The tears in the eyes falling on your face, farewell words that hurt. It will never be us. Disappointment, treason and knife on the back. It will never be us. The lies will never be us. the crazy stories. the Jalousy and so on. It will never be us. Stories of fools, it will never be us. It is told to never say I love you. Never say I love you...)

O my God, on a more funny note, when I am listening to that song of Elsa Lunghini, I always laugh because I was so addictive to it when I was at the primary school. I would sing it and sing it again and again to the point where I put the lyrics on a piece of paper and I stuck it on the wall of my bedroom. One of my two brothers who had enough to hear me singing it, came to me asked me to stop (Laetitia Enough with that song!) but I didn't. I kept singing it right away. Then one day my brother took my teddy bear and threw it on me and he took a pillow and did the same. I laughed. But I stood up again and I sang that song loudly. He left frustrated because I did not listen to him and he covered his ears. And that was not all, I went on to save my pocket money and bought the audio tape album that I played loud that same song in my bedroom the following days. Things we do when we are young Thank you for reading and I say see you next post. You can also visit : www.poshenvogue.com

I really wanted to end this post on a different way. I found the translation online of that wonderful beautiful philosophical song of my youth memories. A masterpiece of Jean Jacques Goldman If you take time to listen and to read the lyrics I am sure it will talk to you too. Do not be sad because life is a journey. We fall and we learn and we move on. We get mature with time and we understand life differently. We learn how Not to judge people based on what we assume but on what We Know. The appearance is not everything. We made mistakes in the past that we cannot clean the mess up but it is ok because it is a part of us. It is good to understand that we are not perfect. People who really love you or like you will remain on your side no matter what. When I listen to this song, I sit and I think and see the time I wasted sometimes for doing...what? For caring about what people would think or say about me. Wow! I wasted my life and my time to care about what people might think and say about me. I wasted time of my life because being afraid to try. Wasted time of my life being scared to be judged for my mistakes. Afraid to fail on an attempt. Afraid to say how I feel, afraid to say things the way they meant to me... O! Dear God! I forgive myself today. Now I need to move on. No looking back. At the end of the day it is not about them (these people). It is between you and God. Your decisions, your mistakes, your sadness, your happiness....hum! O Life! Please if you do not know me, do not judge me. (that is what we should always remind people of) It is never too late to be the best at what you dream to be . to do... *** **** *** This is the song: To Our Faulty Acts (Jean Jacques Goldman) To my screw-ups, my mess-ups, my real suns All the paths that went past by me, To all my missed boats, my bad sleeping To all the ones that I wasn't To the misunderstandings, to the lies, to our silences To all theses moments I thought I shared To the things we say too fast without meaning them To the things I didn't dare to do To our faulty acts To the years, wasted trying to look like... To all the walls I couldn't break To all things I didn't see, so near, right next to me All that I better had ignored To the world, its pains that don't touch me anymore To the tunes, the solos I did not invent All these words that others made rhymes with and that kill me Like as much kids that were never born To our faulty acts To failed loves for having loved too much Faces and crossed laces, just brushed To bretrayals I did not really regret To the living that should have been killed To all that is finally happening to us, but too late To all the masks we had to wear To our weaknesses, our defaults, our despairs To fears impossible to hide To our faulty acts Jean Jacques Goldman