Carnet de Voyage: My Heart❤️ is Always Here// Donguila 🙏🌱🌿

Mbolo dear Readers, Another post on Donguila. My father always told me and taught me how important it is to love my village. My village is Donguila🙏 it is in the province of Estuaire ☀️of Gabon 🇬🇦. Libreville is in the province of Estuaire. For that reason Donguila is not far for me to go often. In Donguila we have the main river called Komo. I think you saw it in my video (Vlog to Donguila) A little branch of the Komo river enters my family land. We stay at my village that we often call in my native language "Home"🙏❤️ because we do not think that places in town city are our home but a place to live and do city activities. When you go out of town , you go rest at your Home also known as the village. That culture is mostly prominent in the Fang/Ekang people. For that reason, we often went to the village spend summertime before traveling abroad. At the village, we would go visit our grandparents and the people of the village. We learned our culture and our tradition. At the village we learned activities of the farm, planting🌱🌿, fishing and discovering the forest, the river. We learned how to speak our native language too. I am Fang/Ekang and, I am from the Essoke clan. Our grand parents would always remind us of our identity, our customs (their questions were often about the who we are, our tribe, our clan...") That's why whenever we were visiting them the first question they would ask you was: "Who are you?" So, when I was young I was sometimes exhausted to hear and have to answer about that same question over and over again while visiting them but TODAY I UNDERSTAND. I understood it later when I became an adult and, when I went abraod to study. Your country is your culture. Your roots is in the knowledge coming from the elders. In Africa, Identity is important. Especially, in a world where people tend to create a "new' norm of living. They want to change everything and teach another type of values that you don't know. Your identity and the experience of the village strenghten your pride of where you come from. As a result, you do not change and follow any type of world trends. It makes you feel very good with yourself, you do not think low of yourself. It also helps you follow a guideline. It gives you a reason to live, it even gives you a direction.

When I made the video of me going to my village some years ago,I always remember that afternoon. I was living in Dallas. I came back from work activities. The American culture can be difficult to understand and sometimes it feel like you meet cold people. In Africa we are very warm people. We do not bnecessarily expect something from you. What I noticed in the American culture of today, it is like someone can talk to ypu because they want something from you. The moment they got what they want, they get rid of you or they simply ignore you. This can be a very cultural shock and sometimes emotionally draining when you are not used to it. It can also be frustrating to the point where you do not trust people or you do not want to know people anymore. It shuts you down. We, in Africa, like to get close to each other because that's the way we are. We share the little we have together. If I am nice to you it does not mean that I want to get something from you. It means that I am just socializing and being human. Everything does not have to be related to personal interest.I was really exhausted that day to feel like that. So as I came back to my place, my thoughts were on my country and especially Donguila. Since day one that I put my feet in America, I had to adapt to a type of culture. Meeting warm and nice people was very special. I can never forget the people who were nice to me because they were like a light in a tunnel. I am very family oriented, I like people in general but, I have also learned to be on my own most of the times. I learned in America that I needed to keep distance from people when communicating. When I went there from my very first day I had to learn of all of it. We did not have friends of the country to teach us their culture. We (international students) had to learn everything on ourselves and I cannot lie to you it was very not easy. You actually had to also understand racism (yes, racims from both parts because you meet White people who are racist indeed but, you also meet Black Americans who do not stand Africans. yep! it is unfortunately real...) so what do you do? You just adapt... My few friends were international students because we understood each other. we were from Africa and Asia sometimes. When you feel alone or "depressed" You had to learn to speak to yourself at some point and, let it out of your mind for your mental health. You have to learn to cope and adjust with culture differences on your own. I can never forget my friend Jim (an American veteran) who taught me about photography a little bit and made me go on some trips in the State. He even offered me one of his cameras. A very good brand one and a good quality. I still have it ( I am a good keeper when you offer me something, I preciously put it somewhere and use it with so much care. Lol! It can stays good for years). He often told me I just want you to remember that there are good Americans too. Thank you dear Jim. May God bless you. I always remember these words. Tonight I write "My Heart ❤️is here in Donguila always" When I think about my village I feel like seeing the sun. Going back there most of the weekends was such a good things. I went to our home house in the village🌱🌴🌿 but I also went walking in my family's forest (something like 9 hectares) that my Dad left. It is just an amazing adventure for me. You feel like an explorer in the virgin nature. I had to walk through the big trees and look up to the sky and see how amazing it is to see the view. You are away from town what a relief sometimes! Don't get me wrong, I like to visit NYC, California etc but I love my little village the most. I never go alone there. I go with a friend of mine or a family member and the man who keeps our land there.Last year as I was there, We almost fell into a big snake (yep! it can happen by the way lol!) I was scared, but the man knows the wildlife and the tropical forest very much. He told us how to walk without scaring the reptile too (O btw! Did I tell you the story of when I was almost face to face with a snake who was about to bite me as it was up and his mouth widely opened? Wow!!! I never forgot it. I was saved by a door glass. It thoughts I was attacking him. The thing is, I didnt even know it was there and I was going back and forth minding my business doing my activities. When I turned to look back the guy was already up and ready to bite me. My God was in control oo! I almost died that day. I escaped lol!. This is the situation in tropical countries. The wildlife can come to you like that.) But last year in Donguila on our way, we found another snake. It was a python this time. That part was scary! You know the python ate the cat I filmed in my video on my VLog to Donguila. When I got the news I was very sad. It came to our place and it ate the cat. We only saved her kitten. I think I will have to find reptile repellent seriously. In the forest, You can fall into some little 🐒monkeys, a curious or lost elephant 🐘(but usually they smell your presence very far away so they leave before you come closer) 🌳 However, if it happens to be a baby elephant, be careful because it is not alone, the mother can be somewhere around.

(A little story again from my country. In the little town of Gamba, we often saw elephants. We stopped our car on the road to see a whole family of elephants crossing and we had to look, be quiet and witnessed them taking their time walking. The baby was in front and out of the sudden, the whole family came out after the little one. It was impressive!) In Donguila, at our home side, we have the river with fishes 🐟 🐠 and early morning antelopes🦌🫎 come to drink at our river. You can see them if you want to and if you wake up early morning. I never took time to look all the species🐦 in the village🦔 honestly but maybe I should do it when I will be back home. Maybe you should come with me someday to my village and discover all that and have a nice experience. It is always an honor to welcome people there like my parents did before.

Next year, I will organize the house better because there is work to do. We need to renovate the inside kitchen and the traditional kitchen of the outside. Yep! This is a complete work project there (smile😊) You can't be bored at all. Sometimes, I wish I could be a man or really skilled to do manual work of home renovation on my own. Works like: creating fences, working on the roof, creating a space to stand or seat on top of the river so you can enjoy the view and read a book like we used to do before when we were children. Anyway! Back to the video of my trip to Donguila. When I made that video some years ago, we were not many of us who thought about this old good song of the 80's. "Dzal" I was just inspired to put it in my video as I was coming back to my appartement, I was just a little bit depressed and felt suddenly homesick again. I missed my land, my country. I missed my village. As I was back in my appartement that song came back in my head. I was only a child when it was played on the radio and I don't know how my unconscious side of my brain recorded it for ever. Seriously I cannot explain how it came back to me years after. Just like that! At that moment, I told myself that I should go back home "Dzal" my village. Years later, in 2019 I went back home. Sometimes you need to disconnect from the town, big cities etc. Sometimes you just need a simple place to rest. I told my little boy that whenever you feel the world is crazy out there, do not forget that you have a place to rest and to disconnect. You have Donguila. Libreville was not really much in my head to be honest but my village was. It means everything to me. The good family memories and the way my parents worked so hard to keep that land. You can take me everywhere in the world but you cannot take away Donguila from my heart. the song was playing in my heart and it took me back to the memories of my grand parents as well. O life! TTime is going fast! well...When last year, my uncle gave me my genealogy tree from my two sides, I was so happy! I preciously keep it in my folder. When I will have enough resources I will make it as a frame and bigger for my wall. I have never met all the people who are a part of me but they are a part of me still. Also, it will be good for my son to know them. Next year, I will prepare myself better because I didn't have everything with me when I went back home. I will pack and bring more stuffs. Let me end this post with this: Dzal is song sung by a Gabonese artist Andre "Pepe" Nze and Dzal means "Home" in my native language and from my origins, the word Home is not like in the western (west world) culture. To us, the word Home is deeper than that. This is the translation of the song. It was sung in my native language Fang/Ekang of Gabon and I translate it in English. I hope you will understand ********************************************************************************************************************************************************* DZAL The one and only place where I fully express my sovereignty, from my mother's kitchen through my ancestors' guardhouse, to the nooks and crannies of our forests and waterways. What pride I feel when I am there. The only place cut off from the class struggle and the grandiloquence of the nouveau riche. Wealth that sometimes many don't even deserve. I will give everything to build you with dignity, oh you my village🌿🌱🌴. I will give everything for your honor, oh you my village. I will give everything to defend your children, to defend your forests, to defend your waterways and all your riches." Andre Nze ***** ***** When I made my video in my bedroom that afternoon in Dallas, I didn't know that this song would resurface again in 2024 for an important event in my country right now. Yes, I am talking about the National conference (The national dialogue) The first one happened in the early 90's at the time when the wind of the desire of Democracy was blowing all over the world. Now this month we have our 2nd National dialogue. Wish us good luck even though I am very skeptical of the outcomes. After observing and reading the news from my country, I saw many inconsistencies and I have many interrogations. Therefore, I do not believe that it will bring something to the people again. The same social class of the high hierarchy will benefit again from that so called Dialogue. I give them two or three months and we will see... Anyway, many young people felt like that song Dzal was very old school and too village stuff but few of us felt like that song deserved its place still and that's why that year I made that video. Because, I truly value my culture and where I come from. My Mom always told me to be proud of where I come from. I was not ashamed to put it Years ago. Now today people talk about that song again everywhere back home. this is my video below to remember and then, I will share with the song by the artist himself many years later from 1980's ( I mean in 2024) After reading the translation maybe you understand now how my heart felt that day as I was making that video. I was crying, thinking about my late father, my family time and memories there. O! Thank you Dear daddy to have shown me the way...I will never give up on Donguila. I will be back again. I told you, I would be there and I was there. Next time I will do bigger things than that. I know you watch me from Heaven. Before I come to you in Heaven, dear Daddy, I will have done more than that. You taught me the Love for my country. Donguila, you give me a reason to live. I will not give up on you. Now, this is the singer himself many years later. Yes, in 2024 he made the country cries. He made people in real emotion and love for their roots. He made that song when he was a student abroad himself so that's how he felt. I felt the same way when I was in America. well , this is Andre Nze himself. Thank you Sir for this wonderful masterpiece and thank you to take us back home Dzal in our hearts. Gabon🇬🇦 is and it will remain our land. It will be forever.