Carnet de Voyage: About Marriage

Taken just for you!

Wow! I just learned that my brother welcomed a new baby in the family. A nice and healthy baby boy who was born today the day of Valentine's there. lol! How cute is it?!
I want to wish you Happy Valentine's day and I hope you are going to make it a good and nice moment. Valentine's is for everybody. Lover to lover, parent to their children as long as we show love and care to the ones we love. Last year I wrote some suggestions about what to do and this year I just want to talk about something more different but still related to the idea of Valentine's.
Few weeks ago I was asked to write three articles for brides in general since people are getting ready to celebrate their weddings these coming months. You will certainly receive some invitation cards or maybe you will be inviting friends and family for that special day. After writing about all the details and suggestions for the brides, I realized how much time and energy people spend to make it a good day and I really like it! However, I noticed that few people actually take times to know what marriage is really. I know some will not be happy but that's ok because we have all our opinions.

I took that picture for you guys!! What do you think?

Not being judgmental but I think that we should take more time to know what to expect and what is our role once married. To me the ceremony is so exciting and beautiful. It is the glam, the glitz and so forth but marriage is another world. Marriage is definitely not a fairy tale. It is more than that.
I am sometimes surprised or maybe...shocked when people decide to break up after such preparations and engagement. I didn't understand at all but at the end my thought is we should probably learn from our mistakes or our friends or family members failure to remain together instead of criticizing them. The question will be what went wrong? why did that situation or break up happen?
I myself assisted friends who have been in such situation and it made me think a lot about that. It even made me feel like I should not rush into relationship at all. I then started to read books about an author who has a successful marriage, I even went to some seminars and listen to testimonies as well. You know what? At the end, I realized that marriage is for people who are well prepared and emotionally matured. (I will tell you why later) I also understand that marriage is for responsible people and that loving somebody is a decision in a sense that "no matter what we are going through we are going to make it and stay together " (I insist that I am not talking about domestic violence or lack of respect for his/her partner because when it happens there is no way to stay in such environment)

Do you like this picture? I took it for you too

When I say people who are mature and responsible , I mean by that people who are wise and take decisions that should not affect the couple/family. Wisdom has nothing to do with age. I am so convinced about that. I have seen people who are much older than me but acting like...Well you know... So it is just a state of mind in my view. I talk about being mature when people know when to forgive and move on after an argument. Some people like to bring up the past arguments or issues over and over again (Guess what? I am not giving advice to anyone, I do not pretend knowing more than anyone else. Yes, I have never been into a real relationship maybe not one to be honest but I have observed couples and sometimes people asked me in some difficult time what they should do? In that case I use my commonsense and compassion. In that case, I do not give right or wrong to any of them I just try to be "diplomatic" I judged none of them because obviously they needed help.)
The people that I listened to, told me that marriage is like an empty box. Do not expect to see something full in it already because you are the person who are going to fill up the box. The question is with what? Are you going to put anger? bitterness? unhappiness? Sadness? lack of trust? lack of forgiveness? or are you going to bring love, forgiveness, happiness, patience? Respect? As long as you both are in a competition of making both happy I don't know if separation can occur...like really. Well, I don't think so. If one keep bringing the good things of his/her life and the other is not doing the same in turn or one is Always trying to do good to the other and the other does not really do the same or does not care, I think at a certain point the "machine" will be exhausted then comes the disappointment...You cannot be a selfish person when you decide to be married because it's all about giving than receiving

In Pinterest

I like this song Beyonce "Halo"

Today after listening to some testimonies, I sometimes wonder what's the point to be married and be unhappy? I even heard some male and female friends who said they were better happy when they were living a single life...Of course, I was surprised even shocked because I didn't understand how? In fact, they might be right because you could tell the differences. I read somewhere that "women's heart is an ocean of secrets" but I think men's heart is the same. Sometimes I talked to some couples who were completely different in their passion, habits and taste. I mean two complete different people and I was sometimes thrilled to know how did they ended up being together? (Not my business I know but ...It made me scratch my head) Then, later you keep seeing them arguing often and then few years later again you hear that they both went into separated ways. No! I was not surprised to be honest but it made me think and question a lot about relationships and love in general because I still don't understand much. A French author named Jean de La Fontaine wrote that: "Everything about love is mystery" I think he is right.
From my point of view, (This is my true opinion after a certain time observing couples) two different people cannot be together for a long time Sorry I do not believe it all I saw it many times. I noticed that couples who are so much happy together and stay longer together have the same passion in general, they like to do most of the same things. They are like brother and sister at some point and even like best friends. When people are different it will be a lot of struggles to adjust with each other. I say it because I noticed it many times. Also, something that I dislike to hear when people say: "I cannot live without you or I am incomplete..." Like really? You were created a complete person. Before meeting me you were breathing the air and living since your mother's womb so...please! This is even scary to hear that because it means that I will have to be twice or do twice more to complete you? hmmm...

Found online

So you know what? You don't get married because there is peer pressure, because parent tell you it is more than time, your partner is fed up to wait so long. You don't get married for social benefits, social status, because you are going to walk around just to show to people that you have a ring on your finger. You don't get married because you feel sorry for somebody or because that person helped you so much unless you really love him/her. You don't get married because someone trapped you with a baby or money, a story or whatever it is. You don't get married because you are fed up to be alone or lonely. Or because you think you can change someone. No we can't change somebody's habits. You get used to them or not because people do not change
If you cannot make a sacrifice of what you like to do then maybe you should be thinking twice before walking down the aisle. You are not going to get married because it is the trend, because all your friends are married or are getting married now and you don't want to be the "Last of the Mohicans"(We used to say that back in the days.) Because when you look at the calendar you feel like you are getting older than last year...maybe. You don't get married because you just want someone to make you happy (#selfish).

I found it online.

Before getting married you need to know the person. Before getting married you need to test that person. How she/ he reacts when he/she is angry. What is his/her real personality. In fact, you get married because you made a decision to remain there through the best and the difficult times. Two is better than one right? You get married because you made the decision to make someone else happy. You get married because you decided to love someone period! You get married because you understand your role in the relationship/couple. You get married because you both share the same vision. I mean when two people have different visions they cannot be together because there comes division in the couple. Happy couple is same vision You are getting married because you know how to treat your partner with respect and care even when you are not happy about what he/she did in front of people or at home. There is always a way to talk to him/her.

After witnessing all of this and reading and listening to advice, I decided to not rush at all but to live a happy single life for the moment. Trust me a happy single person will make a happy partner (Hi 5!) I wish that many single people feel the same. There is nothing wrong to not being married now. Take your time and be happy with those who are happy. Celebrate with them their happy life as couples because they would probably do the same to you (They don't have to). Since I decided to push away that pressure of getting married because of my age, I feel good in my heart and more positive. You have less stress. It will definitely happen someday and I know it will happen to you too. I hope this long post will help somebody tonight. I didn't intend to write that long but it just came like a waterfall lol!! I am not looking to scare people but just want to be realistic. You are free to drop any comments.

Louboutin shoes

Once again happy Valentine's to all the lovers and to parents and their children.
This is a special something to mothers starting by my own. My mommy darling. I wish I could be with her and hug her with a present but...I am too far. So, sweet mommies this is a song for you and for your little sweethearts. I share it with you with a lot of love. I love that song and I like the artist and she sings in French Creole. After many years that song still puts a smile on my face!
The weather was beautiful as you can see we had a very nice sun! Feeling like in the tropics ha!ha!ha!

# Creole ambiance #Tropical ambiance #Zouk retro # Love # Sun Fresh #Breeze #Nature #Water #Zouk Love #French Creole #Happy Valentine's Day!!

(Sorry I was about to burst in laugh because of my neighbor...He was starring at me probably wondering what I was doing. Lol!! I was enjoying the sun and the air!)
PatacolorCarnet

Listening to Joelle Ursull "Ti Bebe"(meaning "Little Baby")

Ok! This is the complete video here: You will love it!