My life in Gabon

People ask me how my life is in Gabon since i left the U.S. First, I didn't leave like leaving...I went back Home because after my Dad passed away, I didn't reconnect with my country and my family. after 15 years, I think it was about time to go back home. I am African from a tribe who is really attached to the land, roots and culture. The truth is I am the only child of my parents who is back home now. My uncle sometimes says: " the spirit of your father was calling you " (smile) that's old saying to say return back home...People used to say the ancestors are calling you back to the roots. I am very happy I made that decision and if you remember about some year's ago I said something Was calling me back home and that was necessary because today i am learning so much! My life is so different and interesting. I don't say that my country is perfect. Not at all! but there are things that I personally do that make me happy. Of course I will go back to America but in a different time. I am ok. My peaceful state of mind is really accomplished when I go out of town. When I go to the countryside, my village, away from all the noise of the city, the politics. Away from the CoVid fear and drama. I understand now why my father liked Donguila so much! He would be going for work in many countries around the world but when he was coming back to Gabon, he would not stay in town. the day after his arrivals, he packed his stuffs to go to Donguila. There he will be relaxed, inspired to write and work on improving the lands he bought. Now i feel the same way. I am so thankful he showed me the way even if i was too young to understand... You have no idea how peaceful it is there and i am looking forward to spend my first Xmas vacation on my own there for the first time. I will see what i can do for people who are curious to stay in natural places. i still need to clean our home there and guess what? I am now the one who is taking care of what Dad left. Remember that video when I said Donguila i will be back for you. Donguila i didn't forget you. I know who I am and where I am coming from. When I hear the song in the video I made, i cry because there is so many memories. The song is in my native language and it talks about "Home". I didn't care much when I was young but now I understand. I get it. . it reminds me of the best family moments. I hope my son will follow this path. Do the same thing but better than me

A person without knowledge of his roots is like a dead tree. Never ever be ashamed of who you are, of where you're coming from. Never be ashamed of your culture. You can take me to the biggest luxurious place in the world, I will be glad but you can never remove my love for my little place called Donguila. I have a challenge to make it look good again. I saw my dad working so hard to keep it. unfortunately my son's father doesn't understand why I left America for this "lost" place. I understand some people have different culture. Mine is definitely different... When I went to my father's grave, I cried but i promised him I will be there for what he worked so hard. land is everything. He left something bigger than money. I have already written few articles about my village and my hometown Libreville in this blog. I miss many things. I still have old good memories but things have changed... It is a very difficult task To take care of the farm etc and you will understand why. Never did i imagine taking such responsibility. I surprise myself sometimes doing things i could never do. When returning home after many years, my cousin and my nephew took me to Donguila. the custom wants us to greet the elders first. Something that I did. However they asked me where were my two brothers? Not in Gabon. then one of them told me a woman and especially according to our culture a daughter is not supposed to take responsibilities such as working the father's farm etc. Sometimes old customs can be rough and heartbreaking. To him it requires a certain skill and ability. which is true. But Another elder responded right away, if the sons aren't here and not available then, the daughter can do it. It doesn't matter as long as she is willing to do it she will learn. And trust me i am learning. As i listened to them it comforted me to hear the last response. So yes, I can do it! The first days of work in Donguila were upsetting because everything was left with no care. I am talking about natural landscape from equatorial area. The ever green forest.Do you know what i mean!? You feel like being like an explorer seriously lost in the bush. That kind of soil grows herbs and trees very fast. And yes it is a rich soil for agricultural activities.Trust me working on a farm is a lot of work and patience. When i was young, i used to see my parents doing it and I thought it was easy. No it is Not! I must have a copybook and diary where i must write everything that i need to accomplish and what has been done. I saw my father doing it so I should certainly do the same thing.

and by the way i am still a working mom. I mudt take care of my son. I also hired someone who is taking care of the farm since i am not living there. i must always call and make the trip there to see what has been done. To be honest, I am no longer interested to work in offices, in buildings. working for people. Last time at my workplace i was sitting in front of my computer doing the same eternal job. Gosh it is boring! I was lost in my thoughts as i had the view in front of me, of the city from the big glass window and a sweet voice whispered in my ears "Donguila three times. My boss'voice was like an echo. i knew i had to go that weekend to my place but i am thinking about doing more in the land of my father. it is big and i can get more than what i make in that office. For now, I planted 31 Fruits trees (lemon, Orange trees, and trees that have local fruits) Today many young educated African s are going back to working the land. they invest in farming. this is the future for Africa i guess So how is my life in Gabon so far? Good! No regrets. I made the right decision. I share here with you some videos of my life and I hope to write more about my activities. in my videos i take you in the natural landscape and the peaceful water of my hometown with songs of local artists. Thank you for reading. Close your eyes and enjoy. listen to the sound of the waves. I actually don't live far from the beach. just 10 minutes walking distance. i like to go there and have the ocean breeze touching my skin and refreshing me. I like filming the landscape, mother nature...

with my young cousin, we went to eat some frozen yogurt

yes I am a foodie person! smile!

The view of the town, the sunset and the sea from work. People are going back home...that's our life in our little town you can see cars driving fast on the coast side of the town center

Time to take care of myself...

The day you go early at work , you are kind of bored. some days like that. So you watch the Same view of the city and how the sunrise and it gives this

and last not least my beloved land, my dear Donguila as you can see there are few more people that I paid to help cutting trees and the bushy grass etc. after this step I will be planting more. maybe you will follow my journey. I love the facts that antelopes are coming down there early morning to drink my river's water. I want them to feel safe in my piece of land.smile I have to be careful about the way I will plant pineapples because pythons like pineapples a lot. pineapple attracts them a lot because they use it for their venom. I learn all that...so I will buy a snake repellent.

and that old video with a well known Gabonese artist Oliver Ngoma I made it when i did not know how to edit and make videos

you can also visit my website: www.poshenvogue.com

Dear Little Sister

Dear Vanessa, remember the time when we spent hours listen to music together. Songs in English that we couldn't understand the meaning. just trying to translate a little bit. struggling to sing along with the singers but it was the best time of our life! (laugh) Yep! the glorious 90's. Today I can write some English how funny it is! Remember the time when we were young and happy. The years when we didn't care about issues. To us the world was just a happy place and our parents would remain forever young. Forever young we were in our head. Coming from school and do our homework. I would help you but then i would ask if you ate all your lunch at school? Because I could eat it too. Remember the time when we watched our favorite TV shows together and at late night in our bedroom we will still have conversations. Mom would surprise us, open the door and said it is time to sleep. We pretended to sleep and then back again in our chat. Remember in the saddest moment of your life when you went through the pain of not be accepted by your classmates because of your health issues. Being subject of gossip and mockeries. As your older sister, it hurt me a lot to see you sad and crying. I was angry I couldn't help you much. I understood that some parts of our lives, some tribulations can only be carried alone no matter how many people surrender you. At the end of the day it is between you and God. You would sit in front of the wall, Desperately put your Forehead on it and then quietly cry and cry. You didn't like and still don't like to show your weakness. That's the way you are. I am your opposite. I am very sensitive and too emotional. I could do nothing more than sitting next to you or behind you .I would just say some words to make you strong but you didn't see That I was crying a lot too. I hid my tears. I must pretended to be strong but I was also vulnerable in front of the situation like you... See? We can't control human nature. Remember the time when you were visiting us and then leaving us. It was painful to see you often leaving at the airport in our childhood. You were sometimes a stranger to me... The more difficult time was the last time you left home. I cried for days in my bedroom. I was glad to see you again years later. But please remember our talk about planning a trip to Spain together. I am sad the world is changing with Covid measures, but we need that trip together. Smile! I hope to see you again. I know we didn't grow up together much but the few times we had together were precious. I learned so much from you, from your difficult times. You are a force of nature. I don't have that strength. It is amazing how as a big sister, in times of trouble, I would always turn to you. Even cry on the phone talking to you or even cry on your lap. Yes, sometimes the big one needs the little one. You, in your quiet and calm attitude, You would listen to me carefully and you would find a verse in the Bible to calm me down. To chase away my saddeness. To give me strength. I have always been amazed by your gift and talent. We have some passions in common even though we don't always share the same opinion on some matters. We constantly challenge each other on some topics and history events. We sometimes argue but above all, we are family .You are fearless,I am your opposite. Fear forbid me to do many things unfortunately. I wish I could be less influenced by fear. I regret I didn't try some stuffs... Let's not live a life of regrets. I am so proud of you. Proud to be your sister Sorry if I have not expressed my Love to you very much or often . But you know I do...I do very much. This post is for you. I celebrate you today. I don't know how many years I have left on earth. I can be gone any day. God has our breath. But I want it to be a sweet memory for you. You will have this post as a memory of me. Remember to take care of my only son. You know my wish to give him to you in case of something happening to me. He is your son too. I trust you. We are family When someday I will no longer be, just know that I love you very much little sister. When I will be on the other side of the river of life next to God (I hope) Keep it as my proof of my love for you. I miss you...My strong little sister. your big sister Laetitia This is one our favorite songs. Remember how we both like to listen to it in our afternoons together. You liked to sing that song in your bath time too. How funny it was to listen to you singing through the door then i would surprise you and sing with you. "You Might Need Somebody" of Shola Ama. (she seems to like cats like we both do. lol!) Check your Facebook account, I tagged you with that song. ha! ha! ha! Souvenir souvenir! walking down memory lane Vanessa! My little sister I Love you!

my website: www.poshenvogue.com

Elle Magazine Cover

Dear readers, Yesterday on the news feed of Instagram, I saw this cover from my personal account. This is the new cover of Elle magazine France. I have to say how impressed I was to see it. I screenshot it right away. I couldn't resist sharing it in my social accounts to my friends and I thought about doing the same thing here with you. I hope it will inspire you too. Really that cover moved me a lot. I am definitely looking to purchase the magazine's new issue (september 3rd,2021) and keep it in my archives . All my respect to Elle magazine France for this hard work. I applaud it. The young lady on the cover is a nurse in Kabul her name is Malalai. I think I read that she is 23. You have here 30 pages of an exclusive report on how the women resist the oppression. These women are courageous. I truly believe that Afghan women are strong women. Their courage inspires me so much. I saw last week some pictures of women in Kabul walking for freedom. You will read What it means to be a young woman in her 20's living in Kabul? How do they see the future under The Taliban's ruling? When I was young I used To collect the kind of magazines that taught me a lot about what's going on in the world. I would not miss the periodical issues. This cover and the main titles remind me of all that. We need more and more magazines like that.

Being a woman in my country, even though i am not happy about the way things are going, I must say i must admit that I am still thankful to enjoy the "some freedom" that I have. In some part of the world, women are mistreated. yes, we need to remember that All lives matter, women's lives matter, and Afghan women lives matter... You can also visit My website: www.poshenvogue.com

Hypocrisy at Its Finest

(Maybe this post will be cancelled too... who knows? O well.) Ok! now. Here we go again! Everyday you read the news and there is always something that makes you shake your head. Yes, like this picture above. It is late but I couldn't be quiet about that. As I am writing these few lines, I am thinking about a conversation that my late Dad had with his two friends back in the 90's. My father was so upset about the situation of my country. things and precarity in which the people were living in Did NOT make any sense At all! knowing what the country itself was producing. ( Btw a situation that has never improved but getting worse. no comment) That poverty in which a small population were living in, while all the goods and money the country was making, were going straight to a small group of those gravitating around the Head of the country... Because of that injustice and for that reason,my father decided to start political activism and then later on, he entered politics in his way. I saw our lives, my family life literally changed because of that decision. So, his friends in that conversation told him : " Look A. You can't be a politician, because your heart is too honest to be one" I think they meant by that if you want to be a real politician you must learn to be fake and being hypocrite when it is needed for your interest. But my father believed that we can't always accept to be quiet. When I was young, I didn't understand it but as I am getting a complete mature adult, I understand now what they meant. Seriously, it makes sense to me now. The more I read the politicians' antics, the more I kind of stop believing in their words. I think one of the most honest quotes from a president that still resonates in my head and a quote that makes sense to me is the one of JFK on his inaugural speech

, " Ask Not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country " That's for me summarizes Everything! that quote means for me stop hoping and waiting for the government to do this and that for you. Expect nothing from politicians. Stop complaining bc it will get you nowhere. However, stand up, stop being a victim and bring your skill, add your two cents in the development of your country. Be a proud Patriot. Love your country. That quote is so pragmatic and realistic that if many people in the World understood it , things would have been different. Every morning stand up for the "walk of life". Anyway, now let's look into AOC's dress at the Met Gala. So, to those who maybe wonder what the Met Gala is? If you are familiar with Vogue Magazine, you might have read about that event. It is a fundraising gala for the fashion industry raising money for the costume institute. It takes place in New York City at the Metropolitan Museum of Art every year i think. They always have a theme for their outfits to wear. If I remember this year theme was " American Independence " last year was religion or something religious which I found kund of...creepy. lol! Well, to be honest, I saw nothing about America independence in the guests' clothing. Maybe some stars of the American flag on Serena Williams's dress. I don't know...I might be wrong. So, The contribution per seat is $30,000 at the Met Gala. Now, I really don't know if Ms. AOC went there for Free or if she paid that seat but being there with that printed words on her dress doesn't make any sense to me. My first thought was how hypocritical it is! judging on her position, I don't think she is anybody in America. She is a public figure. She is a congresswoman and so on. (Btw what really saddens me these days is to see how everything is now politIcized. Charity events, fashion , magazines, the Oscars, the Grammys, the Golden Globes...the list goes on. I mean come on! For that reason, I stopped watching these events.)

The part that made me shake my head even more, is when AOC responded "...what it means to be a working class woman of color..." yes she needed to add that detail. O my! They (the left) can't stop using the racial card to make a statement. can't they? Why always using race to make a point? Before being Black or White, we are Humans right?! Honestly, if she was just saying being a working class woman, I would definitely understand her concern. But why using the race to...? (sigh) ok...let" s move on to my thought on this post now. Her dress says "tax the rich" but then she is among those rich attending a luxurious event raising money for fashion. I said for fashion. Spending good times with them which is not a bad thing per say but why being hypocrite by wearing and displaying that dress? The question is maybe: 1\ Whose rich was she refering to? I admit, I don't know much about her. I am not interested to know more about her because what I read so far about her is she would rather care about the climate change than unborn babies'lives and yes I say it: I am Pro Life. (Abortion vs being Pro Life is another discussion) The truth is i am not a big fan of her ideology either. She many times says and do contradictions and to be honest, that picture of her with that dress doesn't surprise me anymore. She believes in socialism but she grew up ( can i say that?) in a capitalist country. and to me she seems to live in a bubble, her world away from reality. To me socialism seems to be good theoretically, good in appearance but please some young people need to understand that NOTHING IS FREE. THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH. IF YOU GET SOMETHING FREE JUST KNOW THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS SWEATING AND PAYING FOR YOU TO GET IT for "FREE" or free. If someone giving you something and says it is "free" maybe ask how and why it is free? You have to be naive to believe in free services, free this, free that... No it is not and it is even unfair to those who are working hard in that kind of system. this is a complete other subject. Not for this post. i don't know how many Americans can afford a seat at the Met Gala honestly? So far those that i saw on the red carpet are either Hollywood actors, athletes, some politicians... so to respond to that question, i think Not many i guess. Maybe ..not. Sometimes i feel like those "leaders" like AOC who are always trying to lecture us on how we should be living Our lives, are the type of the "do as I say, not as I do" (you know..like that royal couple living somewhere in California) and it literally exhausts me That hypocrisy exhauts me but what can we do? Mostly those of the Left know how to...you know? do it. At the end of the day, we should choose what and who to Listen to. Our children need to know what is right, what is true, what is important. Maybe before judging one should be curious to know what is AOC's net worth Does she consider herself being poor, middleclass or rich ? what is her social status? How much does she make as a congress woman? I don't know...just some questions to have. Tell me what you think! I might be wrong but to me that's hypocrisy at its finest.

2 posts canceled?

2 posts canceled by blogger. uh uh! ok...well... I try to see what I say wrong? how did I violate the community guidelines? Was it my thoughts on terrorism? illegal immigration? or my analysis of the book Americanah? Losing a dear family member? I don't understand... I wish I could at least get a message about what i said exactly that was wrong

Otiti 🌟 Design New collection

👗 @ Riverisland 👜 @ Otiti Design. . Hi! everyone today I thought I could share something different. something more cheerful 🌞 something for women. Otiti Design ( pronounced as oteetee. it's in my native language meaning the star 🌟 you can read more about that brand in the Facebook page and Instagram @otitidesign

the owner designer uses the special raphia of Gabon to make the new purses. it takes time and work because we like artisanal work. It is the new collection after the wax purses/ pouches that I showed you last year. you can also read the owner'story on the blog www.otitidesign.blogspot.com the brand used to have their website but things changed. We will open it again later.

Model 2 and others

there is something special about the raphia of Gabon. the way we work it. some people don't know until they see it we take pride of our natural resources and we want to share it to the world. you can visit the pages and encourage us if you want and like it. We ship them worldwide. as you can see I have mine in the pictures. I like our purses and our work. people who value handmade products will definitely like them. yes it is a new business and a new brand we are working on making our purses known. we make them with love.

👕 & 👡 @Zara 👖 @H&M 🕶 @Balenciaga 👜 @Otiti Design On a beautiful sunny 🌞afternoon 🌴☀️ in my hometown

I end this post with this song of a young Gabonese artist.

Discover my website/blog at www.poshenvogue.com

Afghanistan...

Now ok! My question today is : where are the feminists? Dear feminists where are you? why aren't you walking and manifesting in support of women in Afghanistan?? what about their Rights too? why are you quiet about it? ( by the way i will have a post on why i do not follow feminism anymore) You Hollywood celebrities? why don't you use your social media accounts and use your platform to talk about what is happening there? you should be the voice of the voiceless. those who can't voice their opinion freely. those who do not have your popularity. we saw you talking trash on Donald Trump. pushing the Biden Administration to win and trashing the police every single day but why not using that same energy to talk about the death of women and children in Afghanistan? silence...

why don't you even manifest sadness for your own military dying there? we only see funny videos, fashion, parties but what about that situation?

You the international community or whatever you are called or call yourself. what are you doing? Do something! And where is the United Nations? always when we need you the most you seem quiet or unable to do something. what's going on? o my.. this world is sad or a cold place?

i am confused as to why the world is kind of quiet and doing NOTHING some people feel like what is happening there, isn't their business or concern. but you seem to forget that a threat somewhere can eventually become a threat everywhere. We seem to forget history...ok, well... My heart is really broken. i don't understand. I am still trying to understand the beginning of all that... Because believe it or not it didn't just happen like that. i go online and read as much as possible. it breaks my heart to see how the politics have played such an important role in this disaster some people around the world may not be interested at all about this situation. but let me remind you that when 9/11 happened we, i mean, WE All around the world paid and still paying for some reasons, the consequences of that terrorist attack. we are going through the stress of TSA etc at the airports. You must remove your shoes, your purses, this and that. Some women even had to live the humiliation of removing their tops even their bras yes, because of all these "security procedures" Yes, it used to be fun to travel back in the days. i remember we could just go through the exits with no worries and stress. but now it is a constant stress to go through this process of feeling constantly like a threat when they and you know that You are not. Do you remember when we could go to the cockpit and say hello to the crew? and ask to see the view of the sky? my father allowed me sometimes to do it while they put the automatic navigation. it was amazing! the view of the clouds, the sun was amazing and i thought i would be like him. So they were 3 of them in the cockpit i think ( i have to remember). the pilot the copilot and the third one of the team. After 9/11 it was forbidden to go in the cockpit and i read somewhere that they automatically lock it. It seems safe but not always. remember the story of that pilot who had mental troubles. they said he was a good student but little did they know about his mental health. What did he do? he made the complete plane going down to crash. nobody could enter the cockpit to help the other pilot. and basically passengers saw the end of their lives just like that. These are some of the consequences. As a former international student in America, tell me more about the consequences of 9/11. our student visa is extremely stressful. All thanks to those terrorists. These people need Salvation. yes they need Jesus. So I read that the Taliban are taking control of the entire country little by little Remember that what is happening now isn't just a coincidence. it is a result of many situations that only the leaders of this world know and yes we know it because we remember all the events. Remember that Afghanistan hasn't always been like that before. Just know that women weren't always dressed with burkas like that. Just know that girls used to get access to Education and had dreams like you and me. it tells you how things can change any time especially in political instability times. i know a little bit something about that. Dear God, How can a holy book create so much anger? i am so confused as to why and how a holy book can create extremism? i am absolutely Confused... sometimes i ask to discuss about that ro some friends who are in that religion but they always get angry when you even try to ask that question politely. And some people always find a way to justify that? come on! Nowhere in the Bible Jesus Christ preached anger and extremism. As a matter of fact, Christianity consists on love and forgiveness. people make fun of our faith in Jesus. Good for them. but clearly they have no solutions either. They make fun of Jesus Christ but the Bible doesn't teach us to bomb a place or to attack innocent lives. actually we are asked To pray for the forgiveness of our enemies. . Now dear humans, when people that you don't know protest somewhere. or cry do not always be indifferent because you don't know the tomorrow of your peace. Be curious and ask them questions. They might be warning you of something. Maybe because they don't look like you. maybe because they don't speak your language you don't care. but human cause is always human cause no matter what. Sometimes it is not about being Black or White or Asian...it is about being humans that's all. The fact that someone's country and culture aren't internationally known or may look small to your eyes or unknown to u, that doesn't mean that their country and their culture mean nothing. because there are people, families who share something in common. They make a country. they make a part of the world. thank you for reading . I would like to apologize for the quality of my writings. my computer has issues since a while now. i can't write properly. i use my cellphone and it is difficult because of my eyesight issues. but my mind...couldn't be quiet. . Now to close this post i found that video touching and i want to share it with you

and this is for us people of the world... Someone once asked me what's the point of fighting for justice, denunciation of the bad. the world is already falling apart. my answer is simple: if we have to give up on everything, what's the point of living on this earth? then let's all die Together without doing something. No my thought is to fight for justice till the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. fight for justice, the truth to prevail. fight to leave a safe place to our children, the generations after. we need to fight to put the light on the evil. push the evil away as much as we can. you bring your two cents in the idea of saving this world. we can still fight for justice , for hope. children need us and look up to us to show them the way. as the Bible says teach them the way. The way of the Truth. When people come up with all kind of strange theories to divide humankind, we who love justice and the truth must do the right thing. Tes this world is getting worse. but love is still abounding. we need more love in this world I see my son and i want him to know that we didn't use to live with masks on our faces. We were never forced to get vaccines in order to enjoy the outdoors and public places. i want him to know that a girl is a girl and a boy is a boy. No matter what they will tell him outside. i want him to know that Black or White or Asians we are all a Human race. i want him to know that in times of troubles, political instability, and oppression, being quiet is accepting and consenting with the enemy. he needs to know that some causes are simply human causes and not always about races. I see brave people protesting around the world against the COVID requirements imposed by The Deciders. It takes courage to stand up and fight for freedom. They want you to have vaccine passports in order to eat a restaurant etc. Come on! what's that? what kind of life is it? i want him to know that Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no matter how many spiritual theories people will come up with outside. remember what the Bible teaches us. just be unshakable in your faith in the Lord our God. he must understand the importance of human rights. fight and defend human rights. freedom. freedom is important. freedom is everything. We were born free. respect people with their differences. keep the love and respect because we all seek for dignity. We all long for dignity. that's why some people leave their countries. Refugees, illegal immigrants, the homeless, the patient at the hospital. They all want and seek for their dignity. The minute you take away dignity from someone, you kill him inside ( picture: US Marine saving a baby) May God takes care of this beautiful baby...