Walking Down Memory Lane🎈❤️

Dear young lady, dear Reader woman,🌺 I don't know who will fall into this post but I thought about sharing some pictures of my life that tell a story. I really want to show how sometimes some negative comments can affect your body image. Only when you look back in times you realize that there was nothing wrong with you. It is so important to love yourself at different stages of your life. You are beautiful the way you are no matter what. In this post, i also want to show you how toxic relationship can affect your mental health and the idea you have about you. It is so important to choose the right person in your life. Recently, i was going back to my place and I took a Uber with my son. As I was talking to him, the driver who was listening to us for like ten minutes asked me if we were speaking French and I said yes. He was like: "wow! i am from Louisiana and my grand father was Cajun" then, he told me that he could hear some French but not much but he could hear the sound of our vowels, pronunciation etc It was quite interesting because i have never met someone from Louisiana and they speak the very old French by the way. Then, came the question: " where are you from? why are you here?" My answers were clear. I told him where I am from and I told him that I was married to an American but...it didn't work. Then, he asked me if I was staying here? These questions really touched me and inspired me to share a little bit about me...I don't like to share my personal love life but i think as a woman in my 40's it is important to give little advice to young ladies not to make same mistakes in life. 🌺❤️🎈🌺🌺🌺❤️❤️🌺🎈🎈🌺🌺🌺 About me: Since my young age, I have always been a happy child. I like pets ( dogs 🐕 and cats 🐈) Actually, my first cat was a gift of my parents'best friends from France. A lovely French couple who was living in Fontainebleau not too far from Paris and they would always send me a gift 🎁. My first cat was in my father luggage when he came back from Paris and gave it to me.My love for cats 🐈 started that very day. In my whole family i was known to be a cat lover. that's how later on my uncles would bring me some cats at home.😊🤭 I grew up listening to music a lot and I would dance with my Mom and my older sister while playing rock n'roll. I listened to American music ( Motown, Aretha Franklin, Nina Simone, Bee Gees...) bc my parents lived in America, I listened to the British groups like the Rolling Stones, the Beatles and the French music. I also listened often to music from my country and many other African artists. My dream was to be an artist and a journalist 😅 I have always loved taking pictures 📸, see the beauty and colors in life and around me. I liked adventures, dreaming, house lifestyle, mother nature, drawing, writing ✍️ singing, dancing and analyzing. I like watching the news, movies, documentaries and Reading 📚 My face and my body have never been an issue to me eventhough in my early age I was a garçon manqué😅 I would be climbing trees, play with my brothers soccer sometimes, bicycle.. and watching sports on TV with them. I love Arts and collecting stamps and postcards of the world countries, magazines especially those that educate me and those of fashion and tourism. I left my parents to go living abroad multiple times since the age of 10 or 11 years old. It was difficult at the beginning but ...I made it😅 As I became an adult I realized that life is more complicated than that so is love ❤️ The following pictures are my life when i was single in the last part of those years. As I look back it was the best time of my life honestly. I was so creative and full of imagination. I was dreaming of so many things to do. Like many young African ladies, I thought that being Single was Not happiness... These are some pictures that I was taking because I love to create or see the beauty in everything. I like to remember what I like. These were some chocolates gift from Germany 🇩🇪 and The 🇬🇧 UK that my sister amd my brother in law offered me from their trips

This picture was taken after a luncheon organized by the HR Society in Dallas. It was recommended to attend their meeting and right after I left to be with Jim my friend photographer 📸. He was always out there taking pictures. Because I like pictures I will often be with him in the weekends to learn and to take some trips out of town just to film landscapes, event gatherings, fairs, historical places etc

I like to discover and share. I like 💛 perfumes. The love of perfumes started with my mothers as i was a child i was always looking and smelling my mother's perfumes collection. I would remember the names and the brands. Whenever I was seeing a woman and smelling her perfume i would recognize the name of it and compliment when possible. I still do it today 😊🤭 by the way. O! women like it! I was also helping on creating a line of purses handmade by Ms. Renée 😊🌺 Otiti Design to represent and to help on the choice of making and the marketing and the pictures

Going to visit my family. My family is very important to me😊❤️❤️ We are always talking and be in contact with each other no matter the distance.

My sister offered me some French pastries les Macarons. Offering is a part of my family habit. From my Mom who is the one who like to offer the most!🤭😊 I like my time of reading and discovering. I was often going to the Maryland public library. I enjoy my relaxing time.

I try to see the beauty and the colors of life in everything. These sunflowers 🌻 were left on their own in a bush and I felt like they deserved a beautiful picture 📸 too. I was sad that they were alone and not taken care of

I went on a trip to Los Angeles and New York city The way i fell in love with the city of the Angels. The weather, the sea 🌊 the sun☀️ the palm 🌴 trees. When we got at the hotel, the magazine cover took me in another world 🌎. on the other hand, the Big Apple 🍎 was making me sing Human Nature all along.

I would see something in the streets and filmed it if it caught my attention 😅

Working on The otiti Design. Taking pictures myself and trying to be creative... Since then, the purses have extended and we are still doing another type of handbags. It is about representing our culture in a way

Then, things changed in my life. I lost my father and I was so heartbroken💔 Many questions started in my mind and later on I got married and the year after everything started to really crumble. My happiness died little by little. My inspiration and creativity were leaving me and I could feel it. I was losing my self confidence and believing in me I was called pig 🐖 ugly. Ugly hair, ugly feet, ugly face... I was too fat I was not good enough. I was doing everything the best i could but it was never enough. It seems like i was living with someone who was always in competition with me for some reasons I started losing my smile but nobody could see that. I was still trying to create. People thought that I was happy when in fact not at all...☹️

I was not happy at all but i was thinking that i should save my marriage no matter what.Not knowing that i was dying inside. Today someone is nice to you the day after or the hour after you have another person talking to you with an arrogant spirit. Abusive in every type of the way. Stress and anxiety started to get me but still you hold on to your marriage bc you come from a religious background. Even if my question to God was always: what am I doing here? I don't deserve it! I did not have a life of disorder to be living a toxic relationship. I have done the best to follow what was taught to me. so why? Still i thought prayers would solve the problem Mistake!

Living in the delusion that things will get better with time. That this adulr will change was another mistake and waste of time because people change only when they want to. I like painting and i went on a summer camp retreat with other ladies and friends. i made that paint and few days later he broke my paint with his knees and made fun of it. I was so heartbroken and i cried when i picked it up from the floor. Seeing my beautiful paint like that broke my heart. I couldn't express my feelings anymore... For a person like me who value free expression and emotion it was hard on me. silence and crying were my only words. That was a jail.

I know what emotional, verbal and physical abuses mean. The bullying...I know it! the Jealousy of your partner yes, i know all that! This is what it means when you meet someone from a broken family background, he will tend to do the same thing in his relationships. Investigate and ask more and more questions before heading to the altar. Put them on tests to see their real nature! Don't always assume that people have a good heart like you. I was forbidden to talk to another man otherwise I would be accused of cheating. I heard i was a cheater without being one...how sad! On his good mood we would go out at the restaurant , at the park or somewhere in town but I was no longer allowed to go to museums on my own. I was no longer allowed to stay longer outside on my own We went on a football game that was my first experience and we took these pictures. I was still sad but pretending to smile. I was not happy at all. My faith was all i had to survive. I was forbidden to talk to my family often. I was isolated from my family and friends. The control stage was deeper at that point

Toxic relationship. Wrong partner ruins your life. Up to that i didn't know what i was dealing with bc I had never been in a relationship before. I was a naive adult who was thinking that everyonehas a good heart. My mistake! I went on to suggest marriage counseling in vain. Because he thought he could change in his own. Anger issue takes a lot of work but mostly a decision to change My cousin sent me a picture of her creativity as she was sewing some skirts. She wanted to know my opinion. I was locked in a world where i couldn't speak freely. I would just speak on the phone when I was alone. My brother in law offered ne a beautiful necklace handmade from Kenya when he came back home from his business trip. 🇰🇪 I was so 😊 happy

Our family cat Simba passed away the year after my heart was broken at the news. After trying my best and surviving anxiety and depression i decided to leave with no regrets. I packed my stuffs I realized that I did the right thing. People may judge me but I didn't care at this point. I talked to my Mom and my family. I was honest and told them I couldn't do it anymore. My Mom understood me and that was enough for me.

Leaving a toxic relationship was the best decision I made. A toxic relationship will get you No where. Don't live for the appearance live for yourself. I have met many women who were not happy in their marriages but pretending that everything was fine. I refused to ne one of them. We only live once. My life matters.

Then, my Home, my country was calling me... I felt like i needed to go back home and rest and get back to my land. but I didn't know I had a surprise 🙃 😅 from God I first went to stay with my aunt and her husband while I was working on our family home and the appartment but I was so lost in my hometown and sad and depressive. I didn't know what was my tomorrow. I failed my marriage. I left traumatized because I was often called ugly and pig. I got a low self esteem suddenly. When I wrote my first book, i was mocked everyday for believing in this project and accused of cheating. I was exhausted! I lost the direction in life. I would seat at the beach alone and thinking for hours not knowing what to do bc I was depressive. In Africa we don't use that word often.

Then, i found out that I was pregnant 🤰 😊🤭 late pregnancy by the way! surprise gift from God and i got happy again. God has his ways to do stuffs.It was a beautiful surprise because my ex husband was always telling me often that i could never conceive a child. See the confusion? God has the last word 🙏😊 This was me pregnant. I received the love ❤️ from my family. My cousins my aunts were all there for me. My sisters, my Mom. my cousin in France sent me so many things. my two cousins doctors. my uncle pediatrician i mean I had all the support before and after my pregnancy. My son was surprisingly born a happy baby. He was smiling every time . he was and he is still my sunshine 🌞 ☀️ 💛

I was having my life back again, my work my activities Going to my village when i had a phone call and an email from the US embassy and the rest is history. i just wanted to share that little story and the last part of the years in my life bc I wanted to show you how a bad choice can literally change the direction of your life. How the wrong partner choice will marry you lose years of your life. How you will lose your self esteem and happiness. i refused to lie to myself. I truly believe that it was the right decision. Never give up on yourself. Even when you are married, build yourself. Never stop having dreams. Your husband is supposed to build you too. He is supposed to protect you and to love you if he doesn't then you are at the wrong place That part of my life was a lesson and I never again will jump in something without testing the person for a good period of time. I am still working on myself. Life is not a competition. Marriage is not a competition too. I understood it. Look the time i wasted with the wrong person. Do never rush the time. Do never force yourself in a relationship because all your friends are getting married. Because you are " getting old" Yes i got married in my late 30's but so so unhappy 🙁 ☹️ My child is my priority today. If God bless me with more 🙏 I don't say no but for now I focus on him and myself too. 🌺🌺🌺🌺❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺☀️☀️ The light ✨️ is back and little by little i get back on my feet. It is a new beginning a new life but with more wisdom this time. we got a new family cat 🐈 Altesse your Highness and life is doing it's things

I will never lie to myself again just to cover or to appear good to people. 🌺❤️This is me now. Mother of one in my 40's and happy again on my own. Single life is not bad after all😅😂

I don't care how i look like today. In my 40's but very happy. This is the ages where you get your confidence. The age to be yourself with no apologies. I don't care if I am fat.I don't care if this or that because I take care of myself but one thing is sure, I vowed to love me the way I am at every stages of my life ❤️🌺🦋 Thank you for reading I hope that post will save another lady from making the wrong or the rushed decisions bc you want to live in a competition of our society.