I Need that Inspiration Again...

My channel has been not active lately let alone boring🙄🚶‍♀️ i need to do something about it really... I am thinking and I was thinking about it when suddenly I went back in my previous contents. I guess I need some type of videos again in my youtube channel. It has been a while I try to make some lookbook ideas. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone this time and do something really different but I was so awkward 🤣😂LOL!!!!! But I tried though! yes, I tried my best.. I need that inspiration again. Anyway I need a new version of videos with the actual Me after years. Wow! It is NOT easy to be a content creator when it comes to shopping etc. I a more comfortable in talking maybe because I am talkative...maybe. So my two videos Fun try On I went outside somewhere I dont remember but it was not a good place to shoot a video seriously and as you can tell I was a little bit nervous because I saw three men sitting outside and observing my thing. The place was quiet, kind of far and not safe at all.. I guess they were wondering what is wrong with this girl. And me I kept watching if I was safe (honestly, I was not but I did it anyway). How crazy it is when you want to create content sometimes out of your comfort zone. You take some risks 😅😂 Watching again these videos, I remember there were times when I was really not ok (depressed like) but you could not tell at all. There were some days when things were perfect. Life is a journey really. At the time, I didn't know much about video editing but I came up with this! I learned on my own because I wanted to do things in my free times and because I like it. I also learned to do my makeup alone. Hum! anyway. Without further ado, let's go back in time with the following: Fun try On/🌹 Look book ☀️1 when I watch the video I want to laugh because I was so awkward 😅 but I still like it though... The song 🎵 is " Calée" of Daphne a singer from Cameroon 🇨🇲 What is funny is my friends liked my both videos of the outside even though it was like it is...you know what I mean 😅

Comment j'attache mon foulard/ Echarpe 1 ❤

The two ones were an idea of Sonia who wanted us to do both the same kind of videos (shopping haul) posted the same day. So I had to be creative and because I like music from Brazil I put Bellini in the first one.

Sonia is a very nice person and we met later in in my hometown by the way in 2019

Fun Try 🌹☀️On/Lookbook 2

Comment j attache le foulard/ echarpe 2

Sometimes I like to look back in what I did to get my inspiration too. I think I am ready for more. I am ready to make new video Lookbook of myself. I believe I gained more in maturity so it will definitely be different. It is sometimes difficult to see the change but I think at this point I don't care anymore. it's life !❤🌹 I am ready to do it so be ready too lol! My channel needs something new. So very soon I will have more lookbooks to share Thank you for passing by and I invite you to my website: www.poshenvogue.com

While Waiting...❤️

Yes, i love flowers💐🌺 This is for my Special Someone...a song of Celine Dion in French that I love. Yes, a song that I ❤️love I like this song. Love is everywhere. You just need to be ready anytime anyday. Let me write ✍️ something to my special someone tonight. This is like a prayer. Like my prayer of Love that I will be reading again in few years to come when everything will happen. This song is an inspiration. I think about this special moment. The lyrics are amazingly written and thought. Celine Dion "En Attendant ses Pas"

Dear Lover,❤️ this is for you. This is a beautiful song for you. A beautiful love song for you. Frankly, I have no idea of how you look like but I know you are somewhere in this world. The distraction is no more the future is right here. Love is right here. No more craziness from me. Crazy stuffs that I used to do sometimes. I have matured enough I think. I made mistakes in the past. I made Wrong choices and wrong decisions. I learned from my mistakes🤦‍♀️😟 really. I am still learning to improve myself but I have learned a lot. This is me now. I have no idea of how you look like but I know you are somewhere in the world🙏☀️. Maybe you are still distracted but God will make you see clearly now. No need to envy others'love relationships. Mine will be different and special. Mine will be amazing and fulfilling. Mine will be made by God for me. It will be the happiness that I did not get from my previous one. I am sure you will love me the way I am! You will love me with my not so perfect parts of me. You will teach me how to improve those parts. You will help me grow more. I will be waiting for your unconditional love. This is me now after deception and deceptions. This is me now after disappointments and heartbreaks. I have learned from life. It was tough Dear Lover but here I am still standing. I have learned from my naivety, my wrong assumptions🤦‍♀️ I have learned from my mistakes. I guess I am mature now. Heartbreak, deception hurt a lot but I have learned to get back on my feet again and again. I have healed🙏...so while waiting that you come, I will be listening to beautiful songs and I will be dancing alone. While waiting for you, I will be relaxing peacefully and put some scented candles in my bedroom. While waiting for you, I will focus and not be distracted. While waiting for the warmth and strength of your arms to protect me, I will be taking care of myself. I know you will show me the meaning of Love. yes, I know. This time there will be no mistakes. While waiting for your 👣👣 I will be writing ✍️ some poems for you.😊🥰 while waiting for you, I know you will have some flowers 💐 for me.😊🌺 I just hope that you will love cats🐈🐕 and dogs like me. I hope that you like adventures and trips. I hope you like to discover new things...

O! What a beautiful song of Celine Dion🌺! Memories of the type of music that I used to listen to. I fell into it again few days ago and I was like wow! It 's been a long time but I still love that song as if it was yesterday. It took me back to some sweet memories. O! How I love this album of hers. That album was also good really! It was an album of Love❤️. The lyrics of this song are exactly my state of mind these days. This is so beautiful. This is me now. They told me he will be coming, don't worry. You will be in home of laughters and flowers🌹🌺. I made mistakes in my choices and decisions in the past but I still believe in Love. I do not rush anything anymore. He will come I am sure. I write this post because when the day will happen I will come back here and read it again. It will be like a testimony. This time around it will be the right one. The right person for my life. While waiting for his voice, while waiting for the warmth of his arms, while waiting for his sweetness, I will be here living my life and patiently waiting. I will be buying and offering myself some flowers🌸💐. While waiting for him, I take good care of myself. While waiting for his sweet voice over the phone or next to me, I will be tender to myself. While waiting for him. I will enjoy life💯🥳.

Gabonese🇬🇦 Cuisine// 1

Eating in Africa is often a convivial moment. Sharing that part of life with family or close friends is very important. Mbolo🙏! Dear Readers, in this post I just wanted to share a little bit more of my culture and tradition. This is my first post where I will share with you food and dishes from my country. This is for those who are curious to discover something different. In my last book "Destination Libreville" I have a chapter where I talk about Gabonese🇬🇦 Cuisine a little bit. I say a little bit because there is a variety of dishes from my country. I could not have them all in my book. It takes time! This is here in my blog, Gabonese Cuisine part 1 and there will be other parts because there is a lot to share. This is culture! From cassava leaves cooked in a certain way to some appetizers of fried plantains etc. The list is long. I love this rich culture! So when you come to visit Gabon, we usually make you discover our dishes. We make everything from scratch.It means that we take so much time cooking. So, it is always nice to at least taste all the dishes on the table when one invites you in his or her home to eat. We have a list of accompaniements: Plantains, cassava, rice, maize, taro, sweet potato, yam... You name it.. We cook them in different ways. We have some similarities in the way they are cooked in West Africa as well. But some other things are really different.

My book tries to give an idea of some of the dishes that you will see in an invitation at home. There are also some special dishes for traditional wedding that have meaning and those cooked for women who gave birth only. You have those for ceremonies of rejoicing. But, all in all we usually present make them in ways that you can have a variety of choices. I talk about it in a chapter of my last book "Destination Libreville"

When you live abroad it is kind of different a little bit because you don't have everything local. So you try to adapt and still try to make it good and tasty! Let's jump right into it! These are some of the dishes that I made recently and as I said I did my best to adapt and to make it look like it is supposed to be. I cooked them in different days of the week. It takes time but it worth the work! 😄😆 I usually try to dress the table good so this time I put some blue placemats from Burkina Faso 🇧🇫 a country of West Africa that I ❤️ love.

Dish one: Fish 🐟 Broth. This is something that is very common for people who live on the coast. It is so good! Usually we add African eggplants, okra' sorrel and 🍤🦐shrimps too

Dish 2: Smoked Wild Boar cooked in Odika Ok! what is Odika? It is a special something that we add to cook with. It gives a special taste and it is very much eaten in Gabon. It gives that brown chocolate color of the food. Odika is made of nuts of a local fruit of my country.

This is Odika (also called N'dor) I got it straight from my country. Freshly made. It is usually made by mothers.

Dish 3 : Fish cooked in oven.

Dish 4: We call it le Paté Royal. A tradition dish made of African cucumber seeds. It is very much cooked in 🇬🇦 Gabon. It is usually cooked with delicacy and time. Not everyone should cook it according to my tradition. Only women with pure heartwere cooking this dish. Also, women who were on cycle could not cook it during the time. If your heart was not good, that dish could not cook well and people when they open it , would see how not good it is. Ok! This is from tradition. The process takes a lot of patience and time. It is cooked when the family of the bride welcomes the groom's family. So, yes it has to be good! It is also cooked when there are important ceremonies and also when you welcome a special guest.

The process takes time and patience

And these are some of the accompaniements

But, you can see the Gabonese cucumber grounded seeds below.

Now I hope you discovered something tonight and Bon Appétit! Abora 🙏 Dear Readers. Thank you 😊 🙏 for reading!

My Heart❤️ is Always Here// Donguila 🙏🌱🌿

Mbolo dear Readers, Another post on Donguila. My father always told me and taught me how important it is to love my village. My village is Donguila🙏 it is in the province of Estuaire ☀️of Gabon 🇬🇦. Libreville is in the province of Estuaire. For that reason Donguila is not far for me to go often. In Donguila we have the main river called Komo. I think you saw it in my video (Vlog to Donguila) A little branch of the Komo river enters my family land. We stay at my village that we often call in my native language "Home"🙏❤️ because we do not think that places in town city are our home but a place to live and do city activities. When you go out of town , you go rest at your Home also known as the village. That culture is mostly prominent in the Fang/Ekang people. For that reason, we often went to the village spend summertime before traveling abroad. At the village, we would go visit our grandparents and the people of the village. We learned our culture and our tradition. At the village we learned activities of the farm, planting🌱🌿, fishing and discovering the forest, the river. We learned how to speak our native language too. I am Fang/Ekang and, I am from the Essoke clan. Our grand parents would always remind us of our identity, our customs (their questions were often about the who we are, our tribe, our clan...") That's why whenever we were visiting them the first question they would ask you was: "Who are you?" So, when I was young I was sometimes exhausted to hear and have to answer about that same question over and over again while visiting them but TODAY I UNDERSTAND. I understood it later when I became an adult and, when I went abraod to study. Your country is your culture. Your roots is in the knowledge coming from the elders. In Africa, Identity is important. Especially, in a world where people tend to create a "new' norm of living. They want to change everything and teach another type of values that you don't know. Your identity and the experience of the village strenghten your pride of where you come from. As a result, you do not change and follow any type of world trends. It makes you feel very good with yourself, you do not think low of yourself. It also helps you follow a guideline. It gives you a reason to live, it even gives you a direction.

When I made the video of me going to my village some years ago,I always remember that afternoon. I was living in Dallas. I came back from work activities. The American culture can be difficult to understand and sometimes it feel like you meet cold people. In Africa we are very warm people. We do not bnecessarily expect something from you. What I noticed in the American culture of today, it is like someone can talk to ypu because they want something from you. The moment they got what they want, they get rid of you or they simply ignore you. This can be a very cultural shock and sometimes emotionally draining when you are not used to it. It can also be frustrating to the point where you do not trust people or you do not want to know people anymore. It shuts you down. We, in Africa, like to get close to each other because that's the way we are. We share the little we have together. If I am nice to you it does not mean that I want to get something from you. It means that I am just socializing and being human. Everything does not have to be related to personal interest.I was really exhausted that day to feel like that. So as I came back to my place, my thoughts were on my country and especially Donguila. Since day one that I put my feet in America, I had to adapt to a type of culture. Meeting warm and nice people was very special. I can never forget the people who were nice to me because they were like a light in a tunnel. I am very family oriented, I like people in general but, I have also learned to be on my own most of the times. I learned in America that I needed to keep distance from people when communicating. When I went there from my very first day I had to learn of all of it. We did not have friends of the country to teach us their culture. We (international students) had to learn everything on ourselves and I cannot lie to you it was very not easy. You actually had to also understand racism (yes, racims from both parts because you meet White people who are racist indeed but, you also meet Black Americans who do not stand Africans. yep! it is unfortunately real...) so what do you do? You just adapt... My few friends were international students because we understood each other. we were from Africa and Asia sometimes. When you feel alone or "depressed" You had to learn to speak to yourself at some point and, let it out of your mind for your mental health. You have to learn to cope and adjust with culture differences on your own. I can never forget my friend Jim (an American veteran) who taught me about photography a little bit and made me go on some trips in the State. He even offered me one of his cameras. A very good brand one and a good quality. I still have it ( I am a good keeper when you offer me something, I preciously put it somewhere and use it with so much care. Lol! It can stays good for years). He often told me I just want you to remember that there are good Americans too. Thank you dear Jim. May God bless you. I always remember these words. Tonight I write "My Heart ❤️is here in Donguila always" When I think about my village I feel like seeing the sun. Going back there most of the weekends was such a good things. I went to our home house in the village🌱🌴🌿 but I also went walking in my family's forest (something like 9 hectares) that my Dad left. It is just an amazing adventure for me. You feel like an explorer in the virgin nature. I had to walk through the big trees and look up to the sky and see how amazing it is to see the view. You are away from town what a relief sometimes! Don't get me wrong, I like to visit NYC, California etc but I love my little village the most. I never go alone there. I go with a friend of mine or a family member and the man who keeps our land there.Last year as I was there, We almost fell into a big snake (yep! it can happen by the way lol!) I was scared, but the man knows the wildlife and the tropical forest very much. He told us how to walk without scaring the reptile too (O btw! Did I tell you the story of when I was almost face to face with a snake who was about to bite me as it was up and his mouth widely opened? Wow!!! I never forgot it. I was saved by a door glass. It thoughts I was attacking him. The thing is, I didnt even know it was there and I was going back and forth minding my business doing my activities. When I turned to look back the guy was already up and ready to bite me. My God was in control oo! I almost died that day. I escaped lol!. This is the situation in tropical countries. The wildlife can come to you like that.) But last year in Donguila on our way, we found another snake. It was a python this time. That part was scary! You know the python ate the cat I filmed in my video on my VLog to Donguila. When I got the news I was very sad. It came to our place and it ate the cat. We only saved her kitten. I think I will have to find reptile repellent seriously. In the forest, You can fall into some little 🐒monkeys, a curious or lost elephant 🐘(but usually they smell your presence very far away so they leave before you come closer) 🌳 However, if it happens to be a baby elephant, be careful because it is not alone, the mother can be somewhere around.

(A little story again from my country. In the little town of Gamba, we often saw elephants. We stopped our car on the road to see a whole family of elephants crossing and we had to look, be quiet and witnessed them taking their time walking. The baby was in front and out of the sudden, the whole family came out after the little one. It was impressive!) In Donguila, at our home side, we have the river with fishes 🐟 🐠 and early morning antelopes🦌🫎 come to drink at our river. You can see them if you want to and if you wake up early morning. I never took time to look all the species🐦 in the village🦔 honestly but maybe I should do it when I will be back home. Maybe you should come with me someday to my village and discover all that and have a nice experience. It is always an honor to welcome people there like my parents did before.

Next year, I will organize the house better because there is work to do. We need to renovate the inside kitchen and the traditional kitchen of the outside. Yep! This is a complete work project there (smile😊) You can't be bored at all. Sometimes, I wish I could be a man or really skilled to do manual work of home renovation on my own. Works like: creating fences, working on the roof, creating a space to stand or seat on top of the river so you can enjoy the view and read a book like we used to do before when we were children. Anyway! Back to the video of my trip to Donguila. When I made that video some years ago, we were not many of us who thought about this old good song of the 80's. "Dzal" I was just inspired to put it in my video as I was coming back to my appartement, I was just a little bit depressed and felt suddenly homesick again. I missed my land, my country. I missed my village. As I was back in my appartement that song came back in my head. I was only a child when it was played on the radio and I don't know how my unconscious side of my brain recorded it for ever. Seriously I cannot explain how it came back to me years after. Just like that! At that moment, I told myself that I should go back home "Dzal" my village. Years later, in 2019 I went back home. Sometimes you need to disconnect from the town, big cities etc. Sometimes you just need a simple place to rest. I told my little boy that whenever you feel the world is crazy out there, do not forget that you have a place to rest and to disconnect. You have Donguila. Libreville was not really much in my head to be honest but my village was. It means everything to me. The good family memories and the way my parents worked so hard to keep that land. You can take me everywhere in the world but you cannot take away Donguila from my heart. the song was playing in my heart and it took me back to the memories of my grand parents as well. O life! TTime is going fast! well...When last year, my uncle gave me my genealogy tree from my two sides, I was so happy! I preciously keep it in my folder. When I will have enough resources I will make it as a frame and bigger for my wall. I have never met all the people who are a part of me but they are a part of me still. Also, it will be good for my son to know them. Next year, I will prepare myself better because I didn't have everything with me when I went back home. I will pack and bring more stuffs. Let me end this post with this: Dzal is song sung by a Gabonese artist Andre "Pepe" Nze and Dzal means "Home" in my native language and from my origins, the word Home is not like in the western (west world) culture. To us, the word Home is deeper than that. This is the translation of the song. It was sung in my native language Fang/Ekang of Gabon and I translate it in English. I hope you will understand ********************************************************************************************************************************************************* DZAL The one and only place where I fully express my sovereignty, from my mother's kitchen through my ancestors' guardhouse, to the nooks and crannies of our forests and waterways. What pride I feel when I am there. The only place cut off from the class struggle and the grandiloquence of the nouveau riche. Wealth that sometimes many don't even deserve. I will give everything to build you with dignity, oh you my village🌿🌱🌴. I will give everything for your honor, oh you my village. I will give everything to defend your children, to defend your forests, to defend your waterways and all your riches." Andre Nze ***** ***** When I made my video in my bedroom that afternoon in Dallas, I didn't know that this song would resurface again in 2024 for an important event in my country right now. Yes, I am talking about the National conference (The national dialogue) The first one happened in the early 90's at the time when the wind of the desire of Democracy was blowing all over the world. Now this month we have our 2nd National dialogue. Wish us good luck even though I am very skeptical of the outcomes. After observing and reading the news from my country, I saw many inconsistencies and I have many interrogations. Therefore, I do not believe that it will bring something to the people again. The same social class of the high hierarchy will benefit again from that so called Dialogue. I give them two or three months and we will see... Anyway, many young people felt like that song Dzal was very old school and too village stuff but few of us felt like that song deserved its place still and that's why that year I made that video. Because, I truly value my culture and where I come from. My Mom always told me to be proud of where I come from. I was not ashamed to put it Years ago. Now today people talk about that song again everywhere back home. this is my video below to remember and then, I will share with the song by the artist himself many years later from 1980's ( I mean in 2024) After reading the translation maybe you understand now how my heart felt that day as I was making that video. I was crying, thinking about my late father, my family time and memories there. O! Thank you Dear daddy to have shown me the way...I will never give up on Donguila. I will be back again. I told you, I would be there and I was there. Next time I will do bigger things than that. I know you watch me from Heaven. Before I come to you in Heaven, dear Daddy, I will have done more than that. You taught me the Love for my country. Donguila, you give me a reason to live. I will not give up on you. Now, this is the singer himself many years later. Yes, in 2024 he made the country cries. He made people in real emotion and love for their roots. He made that song when he was a student abroad himself so that's how he felt. I felt the same way when I was in America. well , this is Andre Nze himself. Thank you Sir for this wonderful masterpiece and thank you to take us back home Dzal in our hearts. Gabon🇬🇦 is and it will remain our land. It will be forever.

Abora,🙏to you all dear readers. Thank you for reading and passing by my blog. You can also visit my website www.poshenvogue.com