There We Go Again...

(Not my picture) And Ms. Jean Pierre did it again! It becomes too much at this point. Really this is not the first time that KJP has been responding this way to the journalist Simon Ateba (from Cameroon). It happened last year too when he asked questions about the VP's visit tour in Africa, and the visit of African presidents at the White House. Ms. KJP was not nice at all. I think at this point it becomes really not acceptable! Today again same thing! She abruptly ended a White House Press briefing. Ms. Jean Pierre, you are immigrant so is Mr. Ateba. You should have more patience especially knowing for fact that you are both originally French speakers. English is your second language to you both. Him representing the African press, you could take time to respond nicely and let him ask his questions properly. See people? It shows how the world views the African continent. It shows you how we are treated. I am really disappointed! This is too much! It really looks like a discrimination at this point. KJP...smh. I can't...The disrespect is real. This is a Black woman who is showing a certain attitude to another Black man. I guess maybe because he is African. What if she was White it would be everywhere in the news. right? (Of course they would be using the word racism) In her case how should we call that attitude? Let's go back in time and see what happened some months ago already Listen:

The journalist asked questions concerning the African continent, she didn't even take time to listen and to respond. Kamala Harris went to Africa last year, even asking what was the reason and the goal of her visit in the continent, KJP ignored him. This is so disrespectful. It shows a lot about the way this world view the African continent and I am FED UP of it! African presidents, African leaders do you see howwe are treated all over the world??That doesn't upset you? When are we going to change this continent for the best? It was live on TV and People say nothing about it, she keeps having the same attitude. Of course she will do it again and again because of course he is only an African. My question is would shehave the same attitude with an Asian or an European Journalist? What can we do?

He gave his take on the situation on Tucker Carlson last year.

And today again she did the same thing, same attitude. This Administration, really I have no words anymore. smh...

Remembering a Part of Me/ 2

Mbolo everyone! Thank you for reading my blog.I hope dear readers you are all doing well. This is a very emotional and personal post I want to share with you today again. This is Part two of my post "Remembering a Part of Me..."If you remember I was talking to you many months ago about the importance of knowing your history and your culture. When you know who you are, people will not treat you anyhow. You know where you stand. You will not be taken and following every types of trends of this world because you know your values. They might call you conservative, arrogant or whatever. That's fine because at least you stand for something, you have a personality and you stand your ground. Today in a world where things are going here and there, we need more people like that who know who they are. When you know who you are, you are not ashamed of your background and you share to inspire others. Where you are coming from, your culture,Your origins. All these things are important. I am glad I went back home to my source and today I feel really good with myself. I don't need a public person to be my inspiration because I do not know them personally speaking. My parents are my role models. My family is my support system. And if you remember also, I was telling you about the Mission of Baraka in some of my previous posts in this blog. I told you it was built in the Estuary of Gabon, precisely in Libreville. As I told you before, Libreville is the capital city of Gabon. It was built and founded by freed slaves. The name Libreville means Freetown like in Sierra Leone/ West Africa. The Mission of Baraka should be a UNESCO heritage site. As reported by our History, an American.Reverend came to Gabon around 1848 and the Mission was built around 1885 ( I must check that information well again.) To build the mission of Baraka they (the American missionaries) chose a site where slaves’ barracks were settled, hence the name Baraka. They started the first school in Gabon where English was taught for a long time. So you understand why the area/neighborhood was named Glass because Gabonese used to speak English at the time (details in my previous posts). Even in my mother tongue we have some English words. My aunt (the first born of my grandparents on my mother's side) learned at Mission of Baraka. She stayed at the girls dormitory. The buildings were so nicely built with woods of Gabon. It looked so fine at that time because they took time to do it. Schools had a complete program of Education. Nothing compared to what we see today. My mother’s aunt (my grand aunt and her husband lived in Mission Baraka with their children and later my mother and her siblings joined them there.) Ok! I must say something: In my family we do not say my cousins, my aunts. We only say mother, father, brothers and sisters . I was raised calling them Mama and Papa. My grandparents, I called them Tata and Nana. Many families in Gabon were going to stay at Mission of Baraka. Ok! I will share some pictures here. Most of them about Mission Baraka are NOt Mine! I found them , online, some from my family, some in Facebook by people. My uncle who is working genealogy showed me some of the family pictures.

A side of The girls dormitory very old picture taken in 1940. The following pictures are my aunt and my uncle at the Mission when they were children (1961) Photos credit: Souvenirs du Gabon

The next picture is my grand aunt (the one who almost got married with an American missionary but her parents said No.) in the picture she is in Mission Baraka 1954 holding in her arms one of my uncles.

My grand aunt was my grand mother's sister. My Nana. or ( i was also calling her Mi Nana) And I was calling my grand aunt Nana Andeme This picture taken from a book about Gabon History/ Memorial shows here my grand aunt ( young at the time) with her husband who became pastor in 1986 serving and living at Mission Baraka of Libreville.

Madame Alloghe mentioned in the description is my grand mother Catherine, her older sister. My grand aunt name is Adeline. 🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 My mom back from America, stayed at her home when she was pregnant of me at Lalala a Droite in Libreville in 1980. My Mom my Dad and my siblings were living in Seattle, Washington state. She preferred being with her aunt in Libreville to give birth to me. This is my grand aunt later in the late 80's and early 90's. I took that picture while visiting them a Sunday with her husband at their home. I was playing with our new camera at the time. taking family pictures everywhere 😂😅 today these pictures are precious memories

This my grand mother

and my grand father. I told you about him in my previous posts. After he received God's calling to serve 🙏 he build the church in his little town Kango. Yes, i come from a Christian ✝️ family and very proud of my heritage

My grand aunt was taking good care of me and my Mom after she gave birth to me we stayed there. She affectionately used to call me "Mi Enchè Ngone" 😄she passed away in the early 2000's. But my aunts still call me like that today when I go visiting them. Mi is a dear way to call our beloved one in my native language. I was born in Libreville in November 1980 at Hopital General. (an old hospital. It was the first built in Gabon) Short note of History quickly please! Hopital General of Libreville is in the middle of town center. It means a lot to me because not only I was born there, most of the best doctors of Gabon worked there. My uncle who was one of the first pediatricians, worked for a long time at Hopital General. He was my pediatrician and later on my son's pediatrician when I went back home in 2019 Hopital General had different names over the years. I like History a lot and I will talk a little bit about this hospital. The style of construction you could tell it came from Colonization times a part our History in Gabon. (picture from internet. Not mine. Maybe from J.A Aufrere) Hopital general that was first named Hopital of Libreville at the time. Photo of 1959

Photo credit: Souvenirs du Gabon Hopital General 1904

Hopital General also has a strong meaning to me because in 1963, Philippe Maury and the French team of actors and producer Robert Darene shot a scene there for the well known movie "La Cage" . The first Subsaharian (Black African) movie selected at the prestigious Cannes Festival in France. You know how I like movies! It was history! It was special! First African and first Gabonese on the red carpet of Cannes Festival. Philippe Maury was the father of the French Black African cinematography, a pioneer of the movies in Africa and also in Gabon. The scene he shot at Hopital General when he went to rekindle his romance with Oyane that young nurse. A lost love of his life. That scene is so moving because he left Gabon for a decade and his first thoughts when going back on his land was to see Oyane. That scene of the movie of La Cage is everything! This is Philippe Maury and Muriel David (in the role of Oyane) around1963/64 at Hopital General where I was born.

This is Hopital General today (It is now called CHUL centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Libreville. Unfortunately due to the negligence of authorities this historical hospital became what you see today...sad...No comment.) My friend works there and I often went to visit her at her office when i was recently in Libreville. I used to like that hospital so much. When I was hospitalized there my uncle and his wife and my mothers were taking good care of me in the 80's.

Many families went to live in the Mission of Baraka. Missionaries and monitors taught young women a complete School program, everything even how to take care of the house, fashion, good manners for ladies... My mom told me that at the Mission of Baraka the girls did some good exhibitions of their artwork, clothes, embroidered placemats, and crochets all handmade by the students. Young men were taught many professional skills, etc. How do I mean all this? Important activities for women and men. People were also teaching English, and they were teaching how to live a Christian life. My mother's older sister, first born of her family married a member of the government at the time. Baraka was like a place where high society would come to visit and see the work. Wives of governors and diplomats were going there to their annual exhibition of work and buy what the girls of Mission Baraka were making. That's why I believe that in those 60's, young ladies who studied there could easily meet men of the high society. It really makes sense to me that many of these young ladies dated them because they had all the good manners of high society. My mother and her siblings went to stay with her aunt and her cousins at Mission Baraka in Libreville. Mission of Baraka is still there but not like it was before. Unfortunately, the Protestant community did not take care of it properly after the American missionaries left. I mean, people still attending church there. People still have a life there. There is even a little school for children.But the condition in which they study and work ... no comments! Ah! it really needs to be renewed .and it is important that people do something because it's a part of our history heritage. People in charge of Mission of Baraka asked for donations to save the old historical buildings but... No comment! Recently a lady that I follow online posted a beautiful post and pictures of her remembering her young age living with her family in Mission Baraka. That post moved me so much. She also shared the condition of the kindergarten of Baraka. It was really sad to see in which condition teachers and students are staying in. She tried to raise some funds to help for books and a little bit of renovating some parts of the building etc. Her name is Scheena Donia very well known in French Africa because of her work, her skill in communication, brief! she is really inspiring! Her Insta and facebook page are on her name Scheena Donia. She is French and Gabonese.

Whenever someone talks or shares about Mission of Baraka, I am touched, I'm very moved because it represents a lot to me and my family. Maybe with time, people will probably do something about it. People who care about our history and our heritage in Libreville. It is also important for the evangelical aspect. I hope that the authorities of Gabon will work on this matter, and I hope that U.S. consulate will see what to do too. We don't know... We never know. This is it for my part two of this post Remembering a part of me. This is Mission Baraka today (They recently tried to work on some buildings but they still need to do more work in the part where people live and the school, the old buildings...)

That's it for me today! I am glad my return in Gabon was a good experience. It gave me more inspiration. It makes me remember the part of me. My soul needed it. My soul needed that return back home. I have my story to tell my son which going to be his too. I recently left but my heart is still in Gabon. After all this I can now move forward. Thank you for reading and I will see you in the next and last part of this post. you can also visit my website: www.poshenvogue.com This is a song that I love so much from a well known singer and poet from Gabon, Pierre Claver Akendengue. "Akewa" meaning Thank you. To me it is a Thank you to my mom and dad for birthing me, giving me this chance to be in this world, thank you to my grand parents, thank you to my land, my story , to those in my blood line that I have never seen but are a part of me...Thank you to my land of Gabon

Remembering a part of Me...

Mbolo everyone! Recently I thought about sharing a lot about my background, when it comes to my culture, my tradition. Brief! a little bit about my family, you know, my upbringing.So in this post. I will share a little bit about that? I had a post years ago in this blog about “Culture and Authenticity” maybe you can go back and read it. This post today will have three parts. Today I post the first part. Remembering who I am and where I am from.Sharing my culture and things that I know.. Few years ago, I remember, I wrote in my posts about Donguila. That something was calling me back home in Gabon.I had the answer.I had the answer. It was important for me. First, to see where my father rests, it was important for me.Two to go and visit my hometown Libreville where I grew up. Reconnect with my roots, my childhood and who I am. It was also important to me for going back to remember the story of my family. I look at the pictures of my grandparents and family members who have already left this world. I get tears of sadness from this separation but also the good times we all had. I know I will see them on the other side of life. It takes a village to raise a child. I often do not talk about it.But I think that as I am a mother now I need to leave something about it for my son. ( A picture 📸 of my son in Libreville Gabon 🇬🇦 at my aunt's garden) Haut de Gué-Gué 2022

Dear readers, it is important to remember where you are from and who you are so that nobody will treat you anyhow. A tree that has no roots will die.The story of my culture I want to share it with other people who are curious to know about the world, and Africa precisely. Please let me start this post with a song by Pierre Claver Akendengue. An author and composer from Gabon. He is also a poet. I like old school songs. It takes me back to the old Libreville. I made this video with his song “Africa Obota” . A song to call for unity of Africans. When I made the video memories of Libreville, I was so inspired to do it that night. It was Libreville when things were good even though the country was going through a lot in terms of political stability. Libreville, my little town.

My sister shared my video in her Facebook account to her colleagues and friends who are Gabonese too. I just want people to remember where they are from. Do not forget Gabon. Do not forget Libreville. Do not forget your little country. Libreville welcomed so many people of the world. This country had been a blessing at the time of the boom oil, at the 70's 80's and early 90's. There was a life there, there were people living there... By the way, I have a book that I recently published about Libreville, my hometown. A guide to life in my little city.

When I was back home, my uncle gave me my genealogy tree. (My uncle is a university English professor who did some research. He had to go to Ireland and London while he was also living in France. He taught in universities in France and later in Gabon. Few years ago he decided to venture into the research of genealogy of my tribe and my ethnic group in general, the Fang/Ekang people in Gabon. He goes to family and write about their genealogies, the clans’ history and he recently published two book already) so you have the ethnic group, the tribes then you have clans within these tribes. My father was Essokè and my mother is Ngè like her father. Her mother was Oyek. My genealogy tree he gave me is from my father's side and my mother's side. It was quite interesting to see all the names. The people who were before me and those who made me. Those that I have never met and see but are a part of me. He told me the story of my grand mother on my father's side. She was not lucky in love at all...He told me for my grand father too and I understood why he was behaving a certain way towards us. It was important for me to understand these things you know. ..I come from an ethnic group of Gabon called the Fang/ Ekang people. In some description it means “True” These people have a special story and we have masks that we use in our tradition and culture. A mask like Ngil for instance that recently was the subject of controversy in Europe. It was sold for 4.2 millions of Euros. But now my country is asking for this mask back home.

(picture source: www.rfi.com) The Ekang/Fang people belong to the Bantu group. Something special about them is the way they settled in five countries altogether in same geographical place. If you look at the map of the central part of Africa you will understand. Research say that they originally came from the Nile valley then they went down to where they settled in a few countries. It is not common to see the same people settled in the same geographic area of the continent of Africa. The Ekang are in Guinea Equatorial, Gabon, Cameroon. Republic of Congo Brazzaville and Sao tome e Principe. Some added that they are also found in the Republic of Central Africa. That makes them the major ethnic group in Gabon. In fact they are in four provinces of my country. I am from the Estuary. They were the last ethnic group to settle in Gabon.So it's quite interesting to know about them. They were also warriors. It's a tribe of warriors. So they have a special way to see themselves. They are very proud of their origins, very proud of their culture, their language very proud of their history (some people do not like it and I don't understand why. You have to love who you are right?) They do not back down in front of the situation. They are just warriors. This is about our culture, in Gabon, the Fang/ Ekang people speak the same language but the variation in words differ from a country to another but also from a province to another. Yes, they perfectly understand each other. We have traditional weddings, traditional dances and beliefs like the Melan, bieri etc. and also what we call the Mvett. What is the Mvett? I do not know a lot but I can tell you what I saw when going to the village visiting some family members or when we had family events there. The Mvett telling is performed in gatherings. It is usually a man who is in charge or doing the Mvett. What is the Mvett? It is an ensemble of epic poems or battle stories (but also history of the people) told by a griot (storyteller) . We have an oral tradition that's why it is important to us. It is an old culture. You have to be initiated into the rite to better understand it. It means that everybody cannot be a teller of the Mvett. The epic poems of Mvett are really old and they are told generation after generation. How can I compare it? To the story of comic books of super heroes of Marvel. Yes, we knew the Marvel long before Hollywood. It is in my culture. If you are curious you can do your research on the Mvett.

The Mvett is usually told or sung by a man who wear a kind of hat made of feathers and he holds this instrument called mvett as well

(Picture source is below) It looks a little bit like the instrument that is used when playing Capoeira. That instrument is sacred. People gather around and listen quietly to the epic stories. An artist in my country published comic books representing stories of the Mvett. Where does it come from? Listen to this: "Once upon a time, Oyono Ada Ngone, a warrior of the Fang people. During the wars that opposed his people to other peoples. he fell into a coma. After several days of lethargy, he came out of it with a divine inspiration that gave courage to his people already almost beaten by the opponent. His great divine revelation was the mvet. His manufacture and use were accompanied by the original oral texts that are part of the cultural wealth of the Fang/Ekang people" (source: https://cursus.edu/en/26528/understanding-the-transmission-of-oral-knowledge-through-the-mvet) The Mvett, tells you such a story of people with supernatural powers who did extraordinary things. In the Mvett , we know a man called Akome Mba. We know man of iron or ironman in these epic stories. As a matter of fact there are some traditional rituals that they did in the old days in a way to build the strength of men going to fight on a battlefield (remember I said earlier that it is a tribe of warriors) My grand uncle from my mother’s mother side. My mothers (when I say mothers I talk about my own mom and her sisters, in another word my aunties. We don't say aunties, we say mothers in my family. That was how I was raised.) They often told us about their uncle who went to Indochina war. He went back traumatized in a way but alive. (France was sending African soldiers that they didn’t train for the war. They were just taken and used as cannon fodder during the wars. You were lucky when you came back home) Before leaving some families had no choice but doing some traditional rituals for body protection to those who where forcely sent to wars.To him it was building him (making him a man made of iron. Commonly called an ironman. It was spiritual) So bullets would touch you but you would not die. The bullets could not hurt you. You see what I mean? It sounds crazy...but it was real. The Indochina war preceded the Vietnam war. He came back home to Gabon but was always talking about the war. The family knew he was traumatized but they could do nothing more. France used many African soldiers in the continent for their wars. They were left with zero compensation. He remembered how they were walking in the river of blood seeing dead bodies and always describing the war. Imagine not being trained for such situation , living a normal life and suddenly sent to a bloody war. That was awful! I mean... no comment This is an example of Mvett made in comic pictures video

So this is my culture and it is important to me.

Back to me and my family My mother and my father are both Fang/Ekang from the Estuaire side of Gabon. They are called Mekè me Koma (If you read my previous post on Donguila , i usually talked about the Komo river that was crossing my village). They live around this area of Komo. My mother and my father both have different ways they were raised but they both speak their language well. My father knew his culture more than my mom because my mom grew up in a very different way of living (I will tell more later) The Ekang people have their tradition, for example the traditional wedding. I was moved when I heard a youtuber from Nigeria describing how her traditional wedding was. It happened to her many years ago. I must admit that in Gabon things have changed and modernized a lot but the principles remain the same. Their wedding in Nigeria is not really different from mine really. Anyway, So we have the legal european style wedding and the traditional wedding. In traditional weddings we have the discussion of the families about the dowry. When the amount of the dowry is approved the bride comes out dancing but hiding with the banana leaves🌴🌞 by her sisters. The groom must know and recognize his bride the way she walks and everything because they all surround and hide her. That is how we know when the man really knows his wife. Then, she will be observing everything brought by the husband to see if everything is ok.Then, she goes on to take a pair of nice loincloths to her mother. She sits on her and the mother gives her the blessings. Then she takes the bottle of liquor for her father who is going to bless her too. Usually the bride starts crying at that moment because she realizes she will belong to a new family. meaning her husband's family. That part is really emotional 😢. When all this is done she goes to sit at her in-laws' side who welcome her with enthusiasm. The dowry is :a certain amount of money agreed on by both sides of the families, some gifts and presents, food and cattle . My mom had her traditional wedding in the 80’s. When I was a child I barely remember what happened that day but I know it was in Donguila (lol!😅) my parents were surrounded by family members and very close friends. I am glad we still have some pictures of that day. My mom had her traditional wedding in the 80’s. When I was a child I barely remember everything. I am glad they took some pictures of that event. My mother is the lady in the middle with braids . The two women standing with her are her sisters (my aunties or let me simply say my Mothers). As you can see they used to put oil on the bride. In the second picture is my father's elder sister putting oil on my Mom. ( I went to visit her in Libreville when I was back in 2019 . She really looked tired and does not see well anymore...😔 She just recognized my voice) Then, the in laws give to the bride a beloved name from their hearts to welcome her in their 👪 family.

According to my tradition and culture I am from a patriarchal tribe. Meaning that men are in charge and the children belong to them. I belong to my father's side. Children belong to the fathers only after they marry the woman. If the woman gives birth before the marriage etc, the child belongs to the family of the wife. In order to make it fair, the man has to bring back the child from the wife’s family through the dowry as well. There are many things to understand and learn from. Most of the tribes in Gabon are matriarchal but mine is not. I am from a patriarchal tribe. Meaning that men are usually in charge. Men protecting women and children. You can see it by the way villages were built (On the front side,you have le corps de garde where all the important decisions were taken and where men would spent time together talking playing the Tsongo a traditional game. Then, on the back of the village you have habitations, kitchen etc) There was food that was forbidden to women to eat. And some were forbidden to eat when they were pregnant. Only men could eat different types of meat. My mother had a strong impact and education on me because of her strong family support system. The same support system I had when I went back recently to Gabon. My aunts and uncles are my mamas and my papas. I call them Mama and Papa like I call my mother and my father. Same! My aunties are my mothers. My cousins are my brothers and sisters. That’s why we often spent time together. Friends in my life came later on. I do not have many friends, I have my family first!. A man who cannot understand this part of my culture will never understand me. My mother comes from a family of eleven children. Her father and her mother (my grandparents) have their story. My grandfather was originally a teacher. He grew up an orphan into a protestant missionary (now you understand why I said earlier that my parents were raised differently) . My father never grew up in missions. He had another type of life and I hope to share ot in a next post.

My mom with her siblings were raised with christian values because of their parents serving God. She became scout girl and was sent in her young age to Switzerland by the church. Doing scouting helped her a lot later on when she worked in healthcare. My grandfather went on to be a head of local authority in his little town of Kango appointed by the government at the time. Then, very later on he got a call from God. He left everything for the gospel of Jesus Christ. He was among the men who worked for the 2nd revival in Gabon. He had a little church (I used to go there when visiting them during summer. It is funny because I remember seeing some people of the village going there and one of my grand aunties was always falling asleep at the preaching moment). My grandmother on the other hand was a real prayer woman. She loves God very much. My grandparents were hard working people. They did everything that people were doing. My grandfather was also a hunter ( he told me some rules when hunting and told me stories of how he almost died doing it but he had to provide for his family) My grandmother was not educated but she learned to do what women must know in our culture and also she learned on her own how to do a business in her little city. She was also taking care of the farm. This my grandmother below and the second picture under is my mother 😊❤️

My grandmother was a hard working and caring woman. She was a prayer warrior and loved to take care of her husband's church. ( my grandfather's church) i was really young when she passed away i have some memories of her. In her last days on this earth at the intensive care at the hospital where my Mother was working, she had an extraordinary passing. As she was singing Christian hymns till the last day of her life, that night a nurse had a special vision. An archangel was standing at her door to protect her body left. The spiritual realm is real 🙏 My mother and her siblings were raised together but at a certain time to further their education they had to go o Libreville my hometown. Some of them were sent to Libreville at Mission Baraka to her aunt and uncle (I talked to you about Mission Baraka in my previous post about Gabon, Libreville, my memories) Mission Baraka was an old mission founded around 1845 in Libreville. I must make sure of it ( To go there, you must cross Glass neighborhood then you will find Mission Baraka) it was built by American missionaries. I told you that my grand auntie (sister of my grand mother) almost married an American missionary at the time but her family said No and No because they knew she would have to go live in America. They were scared they were not ready for it. Some other Gabonese families got married to some American missionaries and had children with them.

(that is the girls dormitory . It is a very old icture I know. Sorry, I will share with you more pictures of Mission Baraka in my next post) Mission Baraka is still in Libreville it is a historical heritage , it should be included in UNESCO heritage like the St Paul Catholic Cathedral of Donguila (in my village) Unfortunately Mission Baraka has become the shadow of itself due to the government negligence, the protestant communities who did not care much either after the American missionaries left…Some of those American missionaries rest in the compound of the Mission and I don’t know if their families come to visit their graves and take care of it. I heard that some heads of the Evangelical Protestant of Mission Baraka asked for help from the US consulate for years but according to them nothing had been done… (maybe they have reasons not to give them funds and help just by seeing the mismanagement of Baraka) It became a sad place to see today. In my next post I will talk to you a little bit more about Mission Baraka in Libreville, Gabon. I heard they try to renovate some of the buildings... Back to my mother's family of eleven children. Most of them achieved their dreams My first aunt (who unfortunately passed away too young in her early 30’s ) married a dignitary of my country. She was a pure product of Mission Baraka. She was gifted. She was a business woman (she invested in real estates and had her own fashion brand) she was sewing for some ambassadors and the governors wives. She would sometimes organize little fashion shows to present her new creations. (by the way my mom won a beauty pageant in her little town where she grew up and her cousin won the one in Libreville.) My uncle worked in the Ministry of youth and sport of the governement. My other uncle was one of the first pediatricians of Gabon after he finished his studies in France (and by the way he was my son’s pediatrician too.) In the 80’s he was always invited to a TV show to educate mothers on how to take care of their children. He was elected mayor of his city where they grew up and He is now working for the government. My mom went to study nursing and anesthesiology in Abidjan in Cote d’Ivoire. My brother was born in Abidjan too when my Mom was there studying. My Mom on the picture with my older sister in Abidjan in the 70's ( the lady on the left holding a little girl. It 's my Mom and my elder sister)

She later married my father who was the first civil/airline pilot of Gabon after his studies in America. ( And btw my father was also the nephew of the first President of Gabon, Leon M’ba. He didn’t stay long in power …maybe a few years only. Maybe I should talk about him a little bit but I don’t like talking about politics.) So on the picture my father and his instructor

My mom had her own career in the health field and she had to travel for international organizations. This is my mom in navy blue at a health summit I think in France or Austria with her friends and colleagues

My parents also had to travel a lot and live in some other countries of west Africa because of my father being assigned by the airlines company at the time. My father knew the African coast a lot because he was often flying there to the south part. He was also flying to Europe, Asia and America with some islands. Commercial flights are a lot of work and time. My other aunt, after her studies in France, became an accountant for an international company and she later married the first geophysicist of my country. My other aunt after her studies in France became a computer scientist and married her husband (the English professor who went to study and do research in London And Ireland. He is now working in genealogy. A new passion that he has.) I had my late uncle who was a sailor. He would often be gone but when he was back on land he was coming to visit us. He was always bringing good stuff from abroad for us.. . My other uncle who went to study Laws in France, went back home and worked as a tax inspector later on he had a brilliant career in Laws. He had often been appointed by the government. So now you understand when I say my life since my childhood was often back and forth and mostly in France. Gabon at the time, was sending most of their students abroad on good scholarships. You simply had to study very well. Gabon still sends students abroad on scholarships but it is kind of different now. And about my youngest aunt. The last of the family (she is a hairstylist, the one who inspired me to write my post “>A la Josephine Baker” in my website www.poshenvogue.com) my grandfather fully paid for her school. She went to learn cosmetology in an American school based in Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire at the time. The instructors were American and it was an expensive school. My grandfather often told her:"If you want to be a hairstylist ,I want you to be the best at what you are doing.” and she was really good! My aunt was so nice and she was gifted. She was doing my all mothers’ hair and her customers. She is the one who often talked about the hair style “A la Josephine Baker!” back in the 80’s with her sisters, my mamas. Josephine Baker had a certain style of hair that many Black women at the time liked to recreate (you should read this article on my website. I was a child when I first heard the name of this famous Black American artist and I was often watching my young aunt doing her job which was making women beautiful. In those days women were so elegant and natural. Not too much makeup. Just simply natural and beautiful. My mothers always brought their beauty kit with them and they were often gathering together. They were chatting about many things. As a child I would simply sit with them and looked at them. Their nails, their hair...yes,my mothers liked good clothes and perfumes. They were beautiful ladies! I started to like perfumes because of my mothers. I knew the smell, the scent and the brands for sure. I was introduced to Chanel, Jean Patou, YSL and the list goes on . Spending time to open perfumes and smell them and remember their names. Later, when I became a teen, I would sometimes flattered women just by knowing and telling them the name of perfumes they were wearing. I was dreaming to be like my Mothers. My mothers (My mom and her sisters) were her first customers and then, they would bring some of their friends and colleagues but ,my aunt was also working in a well known hair salon in town in Libreville “Chez Dominique” I went to this lady’s home one day with my auntie. Ms.Dominique was her boss and she liked my aunt so much she encouraged her to perfect her skills that's why she went to that American school. Ms. Dominique was a beautiful lady with hazel eyes. She was so nice and she was growing vegetables in her garden) O! Well this is part one of my story. A little bit of the story of my family on my mother’s side. I believe that they were simply blessed by the Hand of God who was upon this family of eleven children. My grandparents were simply serving God with all their heart. They never lacked for anything. God always provided for the family. I am going to close this first chapter with some short videos of the traditional wedding of my nieces that we had last year and you will see how different it was from the time my mother had hers. Wow! that post was long!!! I can't believe it. I did it! Thank you for reading.

And this is a song of a young artist from Gabon singing and showing the traditional wedding back home' The title is "Alouk" meaning wedding in my native language. "Alouk" J Rio

Banana Trees/ The Tropics 🌴🌞my Mood

Hello everybody, welcome back to my blog.And thank you for reading me. I don't know how the year is ending on your side. I might post few posts here before January. I am so inspired these past few days... Today quite frankly I did not prepare this one at all. (it is not reviewed and edited) i just wanted to share this with you. This feeling of je ne sais quoi. The post might be long but I don't know yet. Recently, I fell into a video of “ Vogue 73 questions with Nicki Minaj” . I often say that I like this part of Vogue.Even though I admit I don't follow Vogue often like I used to. I like “The 73 Q’s “ a lot. They went to visit her at her home record studio and the place was just wonderful. The landscape, the view of her place outside was just.Amazing. And that was in Malibu. So what marked me the most, were the banana trees again. and yes, if you remember.I don't know if some of you have ever visited my website www.poshenvogue.com I have an article that I posted about it. “Banana Trees in Los Angeles”. Yes, I know it sounds just like...I don't know. It sounds like, O! really Laetitia? A complete article about banana trees in L.A?! . Yes, I have it. I did it.Umm. It’s a feeling. I can’t explain it. I got inspired to do it.

Listen, I am from a tropical country and I am very used to knowing these trees. To be honest, I have often associated these trees with tropical 🌴🌞countries only.You know, Africa, Some in Asia , South America and the islands, you know. But then when I saw banana trees for the first time in Los Angeles, I was thrilled. I was surprised because there is something about California, or let's simply say Los Angeles (Because that’s where I went to) that contrast between the sophisticated, the luxury and the natural. It is about the beautiful weather of the Pacific, the blue sky, the blue water.umm the chilly breeze but also the palm trees along the streets and the banana trees! Unbelievable! And that is quite interesting and amazing for me And that's why I realized that what was shown on TV is definitely true about Los Angeles. And I got it. You have to go to L.A to understand it.

I share that post in my blog. And how beautiful was Tracee Ellis Ross’ garden? Her garden was so beautiful with some lemon trees, palm trees, but also banana trees. I could not believe my eyes when I saw them while she was speaking in the 73 question of Vogue with Tracee Ellis Ross. Please watch it, you will understand what I mean. It was just beautiful! She had on her, a pinky red ensemble outfit, some pink flowers and the contrast with the green on the back of her garden, the white of her table while she sat in her kitchen and talked to the interviewer was amazing... I mean I can't explain it but it was just wonderful to my eyes. Such a delight! Almost like a paint on a wall. If you can't see the beauty in this video with te nature on the back , I don't know what to do. This is my mood from the tropical life. It follows me everywhere in my head.

By the way, you know how I like this actress. She is Diana Ross’ daughter. Her personality, I mean, Tracee is just a friend that you want to have forever. She's the kind of friend that you want to have in your life, like spending hours together, sitting in the living room, kitchen talk, chatting, laughing on the floor with a glass of wine. Talking about life in general, movies and stupid things. You can tell she makes you feel comfortable. She has this joyful energy. And the most important thing (for me) is, she has a collection of Vogue magazines in her living room. Yes! I used to do the same thing and still do. I like collecting fashion magazines. I think my favorite ones are: Vogue, Elle, Harper Bazaar, AD…yes, yes! So back to Nicki Minaj’s home studio record, seeing that beautiful landscape (the sun, the light, the sea and those trees) was just wonderful to look! just Like another paint! I mean I was taken in another world just seeing this! I mean really!!☺😍 Who can say no to this. This is heaven on earth! This is my mood. It takes me back straight to my hometown a little bit because of these trees and the sea.

And it took me to some memories of my life, but also.the story that i wrote in my previous post here in this blog. A short story of a man back home who inspired me to write the article on cuba I have this post on Cuba in my website www.poshenvogue.com. “It's Cuba or Nothing!”. So this is a little story and I will share it with you again here. In my hometown, back home in the 90’s I was a teen.. The man was from Gabon of course but neighbors used to call him “The Cuban!” . “Hello the Cuban! How are you?” That's how people would greet him in the streets. Why? Because he was always dressed like a Cuban man. To the point that we forgot his real name. From the head to feet everything was in white. White hat, white pair of pants white shoes... sometimes he will have a good Afro. Like a black shiny crown on his head, and he would proudly walk around in the neighborhood and the streets at the market. And.he was really clean, good looking with his nice dark skin. However the Cuban was always nostalgic about his life back in Cuba. As I remember about what he used to say, He went to study in La Havane in the 70s or 80s, and he lived there in Cuba for years. I don't know why? But there were many young Africans who went to study in Cuba in those years. And I don't know if it was for political reasons. I don't know. And that's why you would hear a lot of people playing Cuban music in their houses.And people liked Cuban dances a lot. So that man was called the Cuban. He was always happy as he was named like that. He was proud of it. He was always happy smiling with people, acting gentleman with women. People liked him a lot! He was a breath of fresh air. He sometimes dreamt of going back to Cuba but he could not because he had a life in Gabon now with a family that’s why sometime in the day, he was kinda nostalgic. When we went to visit our classmate (who was his daughter) he would always tell you how beautiful life was in Cuba at the time he went to study there. You would sometimes see him with a glass of whisky and a cigar in his hand. Cuba was his life!

So what people would do was to ask him questions about La Havane. He loved it! When my classmate was coming to class we asked about her father, who was the Cuban. The Cuban liked to organize receptions, parties in his home and invite the neighbors. People would come to dance Salsa, Mambo, and Rumba to Cuban music. People like Rumba a lot in Africa! We enjoy it. This is what happens when you live under the tropics. This is what happens when you come from countries like mine. .We like family gatherings where we partake in food, we have fun together, eating under the sun and just having a good time, just having a good time. So at one of his parties, there was a lady from the neighborhood. She was so stiff like a robot. She could not dance like everybody else.And she was so stiff she couldn't dance Salsa. We laughed so much seeing her spinning like a robot because she could not follow the rhythm. The adults who were there saw it but they were so busy having fun and dancing. We the classmates of our friends could not stop laughing. We were young at the time, teenagers. Maybe unconscious. Not being mean. It was just funny to us. We really liked "The Cuban!" The Cuban saw it so he went nicely close to her and told her:”Come on, lady. Dancing salsa is just about softness and using your femininity. Let me teach you how to do it” . Like a gentleman of the old days, he taught her how to dance salsa. Little by little, she was trying to follow the rhythm and the steps of the dance. Ok! That was it for this post. I hope you will probably go and watch the Vogue 73 questions with Tracee Ellis Ross and the one with Nicki Minaj. You can also visit my website www.poshenvogue.com to read my article on Cuba. Thank you and happy November. Iclose this post with a song of Africando. An African group of the 90's who were famous with their cuban music.

Live is Life

Did you hear it!? The Milli Vanilli doc movie is out! Now we will know all the behind the scenes of the tragic story of a well known dance group. Really it is sad the way Milli Vanilli was treated. It was so so unfair knowing that lip syncing were common in Europe (maybe not in America I don't know but come on! That was not a big deal! We can't deny that these two guys had talent to perform anyway). I don't know if I am wrong when I was young a child in the 80's there was a well known group named "Black Box" when the lady was singing "Ride on Time" I don't know if she was singing live but it was not an issue to be honest. I think celebrity in America is so so hard. The way America treats people can be scary. They want you to be extremely perfect and I don't know why? You see the way they treated Michael Jackson. O my goodness it was horrible! They can push you to the end of your life. It is the very sad how Rob Pilatus died because of all this drama. These two young guys were used and mistreated by the music industry. They knew nothing of tht world they were just hustling and trying to find their lives. How sad. They never had a chance to come back...sigh. sad. People, you who want to enter this world, be extremely careful. Watch their story and be careful. Did you hear what Rob Pilatus said:'We weremaking the pact with the devil..." and they didn't know because they were naive and seduced.

I wrote a post about the group in my blog here some years ago. You can find it. When I wrote that post about Milli Vanilli at the time I didn't know that a documentary as a movie would be coming years later. I was just thinking about them and all their songs. Guess how happy I am now. Just the fact that their story is out now. How they (even if Rob is sadly gone) can find their voice at last to tell their side of the story to this world. The music industry is heartless and their mean fans who turned their back on them just like that. It is sad...well, Rest in peace and in power Rob Pilatus. We cannot forget you. I wish you could be there to watch that docu movie but you are no longer here...Let's support Fab Morvan the last standing Milli Vanilli. He understood that live is life. This is my childhood here. My memories. Memory memories of the iconic group. Please, let's remember Milli Vanilli again. "Girl You Know it's True"

Live is Life this is a song that takes me back to the 80's. The group name was Opus. I always remember this song too as I was a child and it stayed forever in my head. You can't stop singing that song really. Later on I saw a well known football player (Diego Maradona) singing this song at the stadium at a football game. Just know that usually most worldcup of football there is a trendy song a new song that we discovered. So you understand that the worldcup of football (soccer) was a very important international event at the times. Nobody could miss it. We were buying few months ahead a new big TV screen because we didn't want to miss the magic of the moment. From the 80's to the 90's I think worldcup of soccer was phenomenon. It was extraordinary! The world was one. The world was watching at the same time on TV. You saw new talents, beautiful goals but also tragedies because some fans were going too far on some football players' lives (some died after losing a game because they were attacked by their own supporters). But watching worldcup That's how I discovered songs from Brazil and many other countries. La Macarena, Samba de Janeiro... There was always a new song and a new dance. So talking about this song, Sometimes you feel extremely drained and life seems to get you nowhere but when I put this song, I mean it says all. You can be sitting and thinking about something and suddenly that song come back to me in my mind. Live is life and be grateful to still be here and living. Always remember that live is life. Live is Life by Opus. Those who know, know.

Thank you for reading this very short post. I see you next time. My other website is; www.poshenvogue.com And as usual I close with my short videos.

Black Box "Ride on Time" Not so long ago I saw this lady on her social account and she stll looks the same after many years. I was like Wow! Black women age so nicely! Black women are so beautiful. I was impressed. She is still doing her things. Ride on Time (memories of the 80's those who know, know. The good times ) thank you for reading

How Far is this America 🇺🇸/ 2

well sorry and not sorry for the accent😅 . Will see how to improve the audio after for the next videos review

my website: www.poshenvogue.com

Love❤ and Relationship

Hello everyone! This is going to be another kind of post that I do not usually do. I have to admit that the later story on Jeannie Mai and Jeezy's relationship really broke my heart. This is a couple who seems to be going strong. This is a couple who seems to be perfect and united but we were wrong because recently Jeezy filed for divorce after 2 years of marriage. It is sad knowing how Jeannie Mai opened her heart about her past relationship and past trauma of her childhood. This is sad also knowing how she vehemently told to the world on TV that she did not want to have a child for many reasons (By the way I will have a post on such matter: Women who decide not to have children and people babyshaming them for no good reasons) and that later on, after meeting and being with Jeezy, she finally decided to have a child with a man with who she felt safe at last. I guess ...she did not know him enough or he was not what he made her feel. Now Jeannie is with a baby on her hands and the man that she respects so much is leaving. I truly do not understand men nowadays. I say and say it again there is no gentlemen in this world anymore. The gentlemen are left in the old days. Those of our parents. The men that we have now are just... a huge disappointment. ( I do not talk about exception. I talk about case in general. How they behave. It is sad and deceiving.)

(Picture source : People magazine) See, people sharing their perfect personal lives as a couple, posting beautiful pictures of loving kissing etc on social media means nothing. I mean absolutely Nothing. Do not get distracted by that. The real happy people most of the times, live in discretion. You will see Nothing about their love life. I know some people you don't know if they are married or not, you just see them doing their jobs, sharing some nice contents on social media. It does not mean that they are not happy or single. It just means that they need their private personal lives in the discretion box. I think it is a good manner of living. See, people writting big loving words to someone or shouting all their love to someone on TV or on public videos, all this means absolutely nothing because you do not know what is really happening behind closed 🚪doors. Dear readers as I always say: "Do not envy what you don't know!" Never ever envy someone else life. Never! Because only God knows the Truth. Really, the story of Jeannie Mai and Jeezy breaks my heart. ***** ***** The couple brought to the world this beautiful baby girl named Monaco that we all love and, jeannie Mai loves her so so much. I think she was surprised by the news like we were too because few days before that she posted a beautiful video with her daughter congratulating her husband . I guess she was shocked to learn what Jeezy decided to do anyway. This is shocking really. How can a man do such thing without telling you ahead of time? This is betrayal to me! Some men are sneaky. Some men are certainly good at back stabbing their love ones ...I mean I don't know all the development behind that relationship but serioulsy it is shocking. Nobody is perfect I know but this is not the way. As a woman, my heart is really sad for her. I will simply say Jeannie should wipe her tears, stand up again and move on with her life. She should not trust that kind of love. It is really sad to say it but it is unfortunately reality. Seeing their pictures on social media could not make me feel like something was wrong behind closed 🚪door. but it tells a lot about our days when it comes to love and relationship. If they still work on their marriage, ok why not? If they try since they love each other I hpe then...yes. But she should probably let it go and move on to a new chapter of her life. My mother often told me: "Do not love a man more than yourself. When a woman loves her man more than he loves her...it is not a safe and healthy relationship." The news report that it was due to some MINOR issues that made him file for divorce. Did you say Minor issues? o well... This sad story brings me to write this post on love and relationship in my blog today. Something that I barely talk about because I do not like to talk about it. To me love and relationship are very disappointing. People will Always disappoint you. That's why I wish I could only be on my own and never have any feeling for someone. Only love for God and my children that's all. Today I understand the verses in the Bible when Apostle Paul elaborates on marriage and relationship.“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9) But at the end Apostle Paul says being single is better.

Some people can be at their best and doing great things when they are single because they feel free. Others need to be married but married to the RIGHT person in order for them to do great things. They become at their best. I understand it a lot today. If you are married and happy I say good for you! If you are happy and living single life I say it is even better than being entangled in a bad relationship. Love is like a lottery. You picked the right or the wrong ticket. You win or you lose. You are married and you exceed in your life for the best and you are stable and happy. Or you are married and you see your life going backwards. Just sadness and frustration. Constant frustration, no evolution, struggles. You have No more inspiration and creativity . tgen you understand that:"It was simply not a good match". It is nobody's fault. Sometimes our decision, our choices are the reason of it. If you are in a happy marriage, then be thankful to God. Say thanks everyday because other people are struggling in this area of their lives and it is not funny at all. It damages emotionally a lot and can kill your joy of living. Really I wish to be sometimes not interested at all by men and live my life at peace and I will definitely work on that unless God has a different plan for me in the future. Never say Never. Women, we need men but only GOOD MEN or stay alone. Stay single. It won't hurt. Really it won't hurt. At least you can do whatever you want, enjoy your single life for the best.

Love and Relationship are definitely the most difficult part of life. You don't know who to trust. You don't know if that person worth your heart and trust. You don't know what he or she (if it is a woman) will do with your heart and mind. Everytime I pray for my son to meet the Right woman for his life when he will grow up to be a man. I really pray that for him. It is so horrible to wake up to a monster, a cheater, a liar, a manipulator, a crook, an abuser, a control freak and the list goes on. It will be sad to meet and marry the wrong woman because that will be a struggle in his life. Instead of soaring and striving , he will constantly be struggling because of the wrong choice. So God please spare him this situation. Protect him from rushing into a relationship. Take your time! Even if it takes longer than others TAKE YOUR TIME. There is NO competition in getting married. I admit that nobody is perfect but at least it would be great to respect each other. This is my short list of the people (man or woman ) to Absolutely Avoid in a relationship. I might be wrong but seriously after living, seeing, observing, witnessing this is it. I share my little experience: 1/ The Abuser: Any type of abuser is a NO NO. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. You cannot live with that type of person. You will likely end up living in fear, stress, insecurities and mental health issues in the long term. Run away! Run away from them or avoid them period. The lack of respect is unacceptable. He or she doesn't respect you, does not respect and embrace your family. He or she is saying stuff to offend you. Cussing you. No way! Leave the place. It is non negotiable. 2/ The Liar and Cheater I mean...really? The fact that he or she (for a woman) is already seeing someone else while he or she still has you under the hands. This is the disrespect of it. Or the one saying they love you but they love someone else? or they see someone else? I heard stories from close ones. My cousin telling me how the guy told her : " I love you but you know, I also love another woman. I can't hurt both of you. I must keep you both" Wow! I told her why didn't you punch him or slapped him on the face and leave? Not only he tells you straight on the face that he cheats on you but he tells you that he has no respect for you, no intention to change and no regrets. My dear Bye! Sometimes ask them how they will like to see their mother or sister treated? The same way they do to other people mother and sister's? The disrespect of it. This man is a hidden polygamist for sure . Basically what it means to me is the man or the woman drops their clothes for different eyes/eyesight. The show goes on. Ewww!! No respect for their own bodies. You are going to sleep with two different women (or two men). If you do not respect yourself at least respect the other person for God sake! I do not believe that someone can love two persons the same way at the same time. This is a mental dysfunction. There is always the one that we love the most. Leave the other victim and keep the one that you love. I can never approve polygamy seriously. These men or women are real life human resources managers. Good for those who find their happiness in it good for them. I mean if I ever fall in a polygamy relationship, that man will never have peace even in his sleep. (Same thing for cheating. I do not forget and I will make sure that you remember that). I will make his life miserable and complain every single day. He will have to make a decision. Life is a choice. You can't have it both ways. 3/ The Players Players are that person who makes you feel like there is a possibility when in fact, there is absolutely Not. O God! I know I have been in it more than twice. Presently, I know my friend is going through the same situation. We have been telling him to block that person and to forget about her. We keep begging him to forget about that girl. Listen to me dear readers, When things are NOT clear, just know that you are wasting your time. That person is Already in a relationship. They are just playing with your mind. Playing with people's feelings is horrible , selfish and mean. They never apologize they pretend that everything is fine when they are done with you. But life is a cycle and a wheel. we reap what we sow and I am very careful on that in my own life. It is a divine principle. I believe that someone would do the same to them or they will live something similar or a painful situation in the future. But I told him when nothing is clear do not waste your time. The girl is using his emotion talking to him etc. (When she is already in a relationship I am 100% sure) I even talked to her with precise questions and I got nothing clear as answers. I told him look! forget about her she has a relationship she does not tell you the truth. We ususally waste our time thinking that there is a possibility. Use this time and energy for someone else that truly worth it. No my dear there is NOTHING. absolutley Nothing. Listen to me avoid this type of person in life. Mass destruction manipulator right there..You could use that energy and time for something else or somebody else. They are the players. smooth operators. 4/ The one who is always Right This kind of person you can do nothing good for them no matter what. They are always right even when they are wrong. Your discussion will take you nowhere. There is no way to be happy with that kind of person because they never apo;logize even when they hurt your feelings. 5/ The one who has never healed his trauma and his past breakups He will take that on you. You will definitely be the next victim. They will want you to fill the blank of their lives. They will use you ooo run away my dear! Some of them will make you feel bad and in competition because of their low self esteem. They will put all of their anger and trauma on you. Trauma can be: Bad family divorce, abusive parents, bad memories, breakups, abuses of any kind... They might repeat the same thing on you be careful. If that person is still hurt and wounded please send him or her to therapy first. They are never happy on their own. They will search for happiness outside of themselves. They can't be happy on their own. They need someone to be happy which is extremely dangerous. They will be depressive whenever things are not going their way. You are going to be their forever therapist and their punching bag. By the time you are taking care of their trauma of the past you are going to feel drained and empty and they will still require you to be happy around them and support both of you. You will feel like carrying a big Rock on your back everyday, and you will end up being depressive yourself with possibilities of mental health issues with time. i am telling you avoid them. Ask them or tell them:"please go see a therapist first, try to heal from your wounds... I can't help you my dear. I will wait for you by the time you recover." before jum,ping into a relationship with them. If you observe their love life some of them are never stable. they will go from one woman or man to another without healing the past process. I beg! no thank you . They had past or recent break up(s) and they want you or use you to fill the loneliness or the sadness of their past love. They will use you this is not love. run away. 6/ The Undecided one the one who never make decisions. You can be here with them for years they still dont know what they want but they will blame you for not making decision for them. Decision that they should take themselves btw. They are like kids. Their mom and dad must decide for them too. Ooooo goodness! We can't be perfect I know and I admit but these are the things that will bring you pain if you are around these type of people. Do not even try something with them. O! And last! the man or the woman who wants you to look in a certain way. My take on this kind of person is to tell them to go find the woman or the man they are looking for. You found me in or with a certain style or way do not ask me to change for your eyes or whatever. You are not my mother or my father. You should accept me the way I am. They want to transform you the way they see women or men. Nop! go find your doll. Thank you. Respect yourself, Go find your miss or mister perfect. I will not transform EVERYTHING about me for you to please you unless you do the SAME. You want to dominate someone go find your victim somewhere else. Not me! Christ died on the cross for me so that I can be free. I do not need another bondage. I think i am done for this post tonight I close this post with two videos of a lady that I watch on youtube this past few months. With time and the age I have now I am more and more careful about some details (the red flags!). Today I understand that it is important to always ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS. THE UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS!I was naive and ignorant before but today no more...We learn from our mistakes right? Ladies if a man doesn't want you Do NOT RUN after him. Do not waste your time. You worth more than that. There is always someone who will love you the way you are. You are not arrogant or a princess with the pea. You are simply you. Just be you.

second video that I found interesting

and last being ghosted. Yes being ghosted hurts. It really hurts but Just understand that the bottom line is he has never been serious from the beginning. So forget about him or her. I beg! life worth more than that. Move on! it is ok to cry if it hurts but remember not to stay in this sadness too long. Go to the next chapter. Life is too short. There are many other videos she made about relationship topic