Dear Little Sister

Dear Vanessa, remember the time when we spent hours listen to music together. Songs in English that we couldn't understand the meaning. just trying to translate a little bit. struggling to sing along with the singers but it was the best time of our life! (laugh) Yep! the glorious 90's. Today I can write some English how funny it is! Remember the time when we were young and happy. The years when we didn't care about issues. To us the world was just a happy place and our parents would remain forever young. Forever young we were in our head. Coming from school and do our homework. I would help you but then i would ask if you ate all your lunch at school? Because I could eat it too. Remember the time when we watched our favorite TV shows together and at late night in our bedroom we will still have conversations. Mom would surprise us, open the door and said it is time to sleep. We pretended to sleep and then back again in our chat. Remember in the saddest moment of your life when you went through the pain of not be accepted by your classmates because of your health issues. Being subject of gossip and mockeries. As your older sister, it hurt me a lot to see you sad and crying. I was angry I couldn't help you much. I understood that some parts of our lives, some tribulations can only be carried alone no matter how many people surrender you. At the end of the day it is between you and God. You would sit in front of the wall, Desperately put your Forehead on it and then quietly cry and cry. You didn't like and still don't like to show your weakness. That's the way you are. I am your opposite. I am very sensitive and too emotional. I could do nothing more than sitting next to you or behind you .I would just say some words to make you strong but you didn't see That I was crying a lot too. I hid my tears. I must pretended to be strong but I was also vulnerable in front of the situation like you... See? We can't control human nature. Remember the time when you were visiting us and then leaving us. It was painful to see you often leaving at the airport in our childhood. You were sometimes a stranger to me... The more difficult time was the last time you left home. I cried for days in my bedroom. I was glad to see you again years later. But please remember our talk about planning a trip to Spain together. I am sad the world is changing with Covid measures, but we need that trip together. Smile! I hope to see you again. I know we didn't grow up together much but the few times we had together were precious. I learned so much from you, from your difficult times. You are a force of nature. I don't have that strength. It is amazing how as a big sister, in times of trouble, I would always turn to you. Even cry on the phone talking to you or even cry on your lap. Yes, sometimes the big one needs the little one. You, in your quiet and calm attitude, You would listen to me carefully and you would find a verse in the Bible to calm me down. To chase away my saddeness. To give me strength. I have always been amazed by your gift and talent. We have some passions in common even though we don't always share the same opinion on some matters. We constantly challenge each other on some topics and history events. We sometimes argue but above all, we are family .You are fearless,I am your opposite. Fear forbid me to do many things unfortunately. I wish I could be less influenced by fear. I regret I didn't try some stuffs... Let's not live a life of regrets. I am so proud of you. Proud to be your sister Sorry if I have not expressed my Love to you very much or often . But you know I do...I do very much. This post is for you. I celebrate you today. I don't know how many years I have left on earth. I can be gone any day. God has our breath. But I want it to be a sweet memory for you. You will have this post as a memory of me. Remember to take care of my only son. You know my wish to give him to you in case of something happening to me. He is your son too. I trust you. We are family When someday I will no longer be, just know that I love you very much little sister. When I will be on the other side of the river of life next to God (I hope) Keep it as my proof of my love for you. I miss you...My strong little sister. your big sister Laetitia This is one our favorite songs. Remember how we both like to listen to it in our afternoons together. You liked to sing that song in your bath time too. How funny it was to listen to you singing through the door then i would surprise you and sing with you. "You Might Need Somebody" of Shola Ama. (she seems to like cats like we both do. lol!) Check your Facebook account, I tagged you with that song. ha! ha! ha! Souvenir souvenir! walking down memory lane Vanessa! My little sister I Love you!

my website: www.poshenvogue.com